Octonaut oneshots (BOOK 2)

How to cook spaghetti - jan.1-2024

Happy new years
(Credits to Localidiot87 for letting me do this)

How to cook spaghetti, featuring.... Captain Barnacles, Kwazii, and Gordon Ramsay.

It all started when the vegimals had the idea of having the captain make dinner while they were gone looking for more kelp to make kelp cakes. They thought a captain should know how to cook (he doesn't) so they left him to do the job.

Unfortunately for barnacles, he can't cook.

But wanna know something else?

This dumbass got his lieutenant, Kwazii to help him.
Which he doesn't know how to cook either!
Wanna know what he told the captain?!

"Aye cap'n, don't worry! Your lieutenant here knows how to cook!"

But this story doesn't end here
On new years, tweak dares Kwazii at exactly 12:00 AM, to prank call Gordon Ramsay into visiting the octopod.

Which also unfortunately, worked. And now Gordon Ramsay is here.

"Today you two will be making spaghetti. You have 2 hours, and I WILL be having a bite of each of your spaghetti's. You may begin."

"Oh shit."
"We're fucked."

The two boys got to work, and everything was going well.

UNTIL...

Gordon Ramsay walked over to barnacles part of the kitchen, and stared in utter disbelief.

"Excuse me sir what the actual fuck is that."

"Uhm..sauce?"
"SAUCE?!"
(Spelling sauce took 6 attempts)

"ARE YOU STUPID?? ARE YOU SLOW?? ARE YOU RETARDED??"

"I think I fucked up."
"YOU SURE DID FUCK UP."

Kwazii was over on his half of the station laughing his ass off.

UNTIL.

His fucking side of the kitchen fucking exploded.

"Oh shit."

Meanwhile with barnacles and Gordon Ramsay.

Barnacles: *crying on the fucking floor*
Gordon Ramsay: "YOU DOBKEY. GET ABKC TO WORK."

And then the entire fucking octopod exploded.

And when the vegimals got back they fainted and probably never woke up.

This is the weirdest but funniest chapter I've probably ever written now I need to write more shit like this

This reminds me of how to basic lmao