falling for the Badboy

chapter nineteen

Our minds.
They hold all the power to either build or break us apart. There's those times when you have a cut but you don't know about it, it doesn't hurt at all. And then you see it, you now know that you have it and all of the sudden, it hurts.

Where was all the pain before your eyes landed on it? Where was it? Well, maybe the neuro scientist would know.

Maybe someday, I'll know.

Maybe I should stop maybeing and focus on getting my week's worth of homework done in a day.

Last week was tragic for me. I was trying to find my grip again. I avoided lexi and the hurt I saw in her eyes the few times our eyes locked was overboard. Raven on the other side kept giving me death glares.

Shoot the daggers already.

I bumped into Christian on my way to one of my classes and he blunt out cursed at me for making him drop all his books because of not watching where I was going.

Mum and Isaac kept trying to talk to me about 'helping with the family business' but I kept postponing the stupid meeting.

What made the week even weirder was being paired with Tyler for a project that required juniors and seniors to work together.

But the weirdest part was how I wished it was Christian, yes, the boy that called me pathetic, the boy that kissed me then ignored me like nothing happened. The boy who hates me so much for reasons I'll never know.

Maybe those stupid online 'know it all' guys are right. Because I'm sure as hell yearning for the guy that hates my guts.

The only good thing about that past week was how well I was getting along with Josie. She helped me well in the times I spent talking to her. I know that if I keep up with it I might just get better.

She's taking it slow and steady. Her question are usually not alarming but they somehow get me to give the deepest and most truthful answers.

But here I am, on a striking Sunday, working on my homework so that I'd create time to meet josie without getting bad grades and making sure Mum never finds out about my after-school plans.

She says going to a therapist brands you as a crazy person, and that is not the type of picture she'd like to paint for the public.

I haven't had a chance to see grandma because I'm still deciding on whether to sell my soul to the devil I call mum and submit to her wrath or stick to seeing my grandma on the screen of my phone via video call.

It's annoying. The fact that they want me be part of their so-called family business. But hey, it's my mum were talking about and I'm sure as hell she'll stop at nothing to get what she wants.

I'll agree to it, that's the only way I get to make the terms and conditions. Or else I'll be forced to do it without a say.

I was completing my last set of homework when my phone rang.

It was Alexis. I picked up, I clearly couldn't get past this one. I had to set it straight and tell her that it's not her fault.

"Victoria?" Her sweet voice was crushing every bone in my body. I never meant to hurt her.

"Alexis."

"We need to talk Victoria, you can't keep avoiding me. You're just going to leave me like everyone does so please do it right. Say it to my face okay."

Well Raven taught you right .

"Alexis I c-"

"No Victoria, please. Atleast do it with dignity."

And with that, she hang up.

I know she trusted me, I know she told me about her deepest fears and it seemed like I was doing exactly what she fears everyone does to her.

Maybe she deserved an explanation. And I was going to give her one.

°°°°°
~a few hours later~

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" I answered.

When we're young, we're taught to avoid strangers. I got that lesson too. Just that this particular stranger felt right. I trusted a stranger who wore a freaking mask. He felt right and I felt right with him.

I loved how he kissed me, I loved how his voice sounded even though I don't remember much of it. I love how his hands felt on my body, the butterflies they awoke, how his touch sent electricity everywhere on my body and how I knew that the effect was mutual.

It was unlike him to show his emotions since the only emotion he embraced was anger.

He was angry at everyone around him except me. He was my first love if we're gonna make this so cheesy

I hope we meet again MASK GUY.
------------------

I put down my journal after entering my thoughts. Feeling no better about it. He was just a memory that haunted me every freaking day.

What if I had met him on his birthday? Was he going to show me his face? Was he finally going to be the serial killer I sometimes thought he was and end my life?

If he was a serial killer though, would I have been happy that he's the one that got to kill me? Do all serial killers smell as good as he did? Do they kiss just as passionately?

But hey, we'll never find out. Grandma's town is too big to even start a search no matter how many times that crosses my mind. I'm such a fool that I couldn't remember his name. Even worse than a fool because we didn't exchange phone numbers or even Instagram user names.

A part of me knows that he never wanted me to know who he really was-maybe a serial killer after all.

I just need to will myself to forget about him. Too much time has passed and I know he did the same, serial killer or not.

A/N

Hello beautiful people......please vote share and comment....

I live for your support.