we fell in love in october- girl in red
"looking at the stars, admiring from afar. my girl, my girl, my girl."
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jack
SEPTEMBER 30, 2023
Tthis was the day that I realized I felt something for emma, something stronger than I've ever felt before. It consumes me, I can't go a single moment with out thinking of her and it was driving me insane. all I wanted to do was tell her but I couldn't bring myself to do it, and as much as I hated to admit it I really liked her. this feeling is something I haven't felt before, not even with maddie. I've only known Emma for about a month but I was falling for her, way harder than maddie. maddie and I dated for only a year and a half, she lives in new york and is a high paying model. the only reason I fell for her was for her looks. but her personality was nothing but bitchy, she knew she was beautiful and used it to her advantage. she treated everyone like shit and especally me, she didn't care about peoples feelings whatsoever. She is the total opposite of Emma, which is why I like emma so much. she cares about peoples feelings and treats people with nothing but kindness, and she knows she is beautiful but doesn't brag about it or compare. I couldn't love her, not yet.
the moment we got out of the car meadow grabbed emma's hand, leading her towards the baby cows. "you can hug them!" meadow yelled, running over to them. nico and I trailed behind the girls. "hey man, it's okay to like her you know." nico said, he completely threw me off guard. "what do you mean, I don't." I lied, nico looked over at me smirking. "I can see the way you look at her, just don't hurt her man." nico picked up his pace and continued walking over to the girls. I spotted emma, she was cuddling a fluffy brown baby cow and she had the brightest smile on her face. seeing her smile made me smile, I've never felt this happy in a long time and to be honest it felt good. sometimes it's frightening but most of the time emma makes me laugh and smile.
I admired her from a far, I couldn't help but feel lucky to call her mine. I wanted her so bad, I needed to figure out how to tell her. my girl, my girl, my girl. emma noticed my staring. "jack! come here right now you're going to die." she screams, I walk into the white pen towards emma. I will admit these were the cutest cows I have ever seen. emma looked up into my eyes, that beautiful smile still formed on her face. "I want one so bad! look at his cute little face." emma says, she gives the baby cow a kiss on his forhead. "he is pretty cute." I say with a smile, I look into her brown eyes then down at her lips. I couldn't help myself, my lips crashed into hers. but the moment doesn't last long because behind me I hear screaming and laughing. "omg jack hughes!" I look back to see a group of teenage girls fan-girling over me. "can we get a picture." one girl says. "Is that your girlfriend?"another asked. I look back at emma, she looks extremely uncomforable. I grabbed her hand, both of us stood up and walked away. I ignored the girls and tried to look around to see where nico and meadow went. I spotted them near the pumpkins, nico was taking pictures with two girls. "you okay?" I asked emma, she looks up at me and nods her head. "I just hope no one took any pictures of us kissing." she said, I agreed with her and both of us walked over to where nico and meadow were. the two girls who were taking pictures with nico left and nico was taking pictures of meadow holding a pumpkin in front of her face. "do you guys want to go on a walk? the trails are beautiful this time of year!" emma asked, we all agree and start walking towards the trail.
emma was right, the trail was beautiful. the leaves had fully changed color, the path was covered in crimson leaves. meadow and nico walked in front of us, holding hands. I looked over at emma, she was staring at their hands. I felt guilty for not providing her with what she wants, I used to be a romantic but it's been hard ever since maddie. I grabbed emma's hand, I caught her off guard. she looked up into my eyes, and stopped walking causing me to come to a halt. "jack." I knew what she was about to say, my heart started to race. "I need to know how you feel about me, because whatever this is it can't continue if you keep giving me mixed signals." I needed to tell her the truth, but she can't expect me to be the most amazing boyfriend in the world, I physically can't be that. I know that no matter what I do I'm going to fuck everything up and hurt her, I don't want to be responsable for breaking her heart. "em, I want to be with you, I really do but I'm not good for you." I said brecking our eye contact, I couldn't bare to see the hurt in her eyes. emma shakes her head, a single tear drop falls from her pretty brown eyes. I gentily grabbed her face and whiped her tears. "you deserve someone who will treat you well, and who will do all these romantic things. I will just fuck everything up, like I always do." emma shakes her once again, more tears falling from her eyes. I attept to wipe them again but she pushed me away. "I don't care jack! don't you get it? I want you, so bad but you don't want me." I walked back up to her and hugged her, all I felt was shame and guilt. "no emma I do, I want you so bad but I really don't wanna hurt you." I whisper into her ear, she digs her head into my shoulder. "I don't care if you hurt me. I wanna be yours." emma says, she takes a step backwards to look into my eyes. this was the perfect moment to tell her how I felt, she is the only person I want to be with and I'd do anything for her. I'd protect her with my life no matter what. "I wanna be yours too em." I say, it felt good to express my feelings even better when a smile formed on her face. I pressed my lips to hers.
AAA! HAPPY NEW YEARRRR! OMG THIS CHAPTER MY HEART BROKE WRITING THIS UGH! ILYSM HAPPY READING MUAH!
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