jack
[december, 3, 2023]
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
for the last two days i have been thinking a lot about what happened, i cheated on emma.. at the moment i didn't regret doing anything but now all i feel is guilt. i though i was falling in love with emma, but when maddie came back into my life it fucked everything up. maddie and i haven't spoken since we hooked up, i left early before she woke up because i knew what she was going to say. maddie told me briefly as laid in bed that she didn't like emma, she said that she wasn't right for me. i didn't believe anything maddie said, i know emma is right for me and every single person who has met maddie says she isn't right for me.
i still can't cope with the fact i cheated on her, i promised her nothing was going on with me and maddie and i broke the promise. there is no way that i'll tell emma, i can't lose her because deep down i truly do love emma. the only issue is maddie, she'll tell emma the moment she's sees her.
i promised nico that i would go to todays practice, as much as i wished i could lay on my couch and watch tv, i had no choice. i tossed my gear into the car and started driving to the rink, once again my brain only thought of emma. i switched up so fast, i wanted maddie back one day and now i need emma back. ignoring her for weeks wasn't the brightest desicion, but i know now that to lose emma i would lose myself in the process. i pull into my parking spot at the back of the rink and hop out quickly, carrying my hockey bag and sticks.
the first person to notice me walking in was nico, who looked even more annoyed as he sounded on the phone not long ago. "great." i mumble as nico walks towards me, he shakes his head and rolls his eyes. "now you show up great, did you call emma back?" nico asks me and i gulp. "yeah." i lie, nico gives me a side-eye. "you can stop lying rowdy, why are you doing this-" nico stops himself, he thinks for a second then nods. "ah i see, this is about maddie isn't it." sometimes nico is terrifing, he knows everything and no one can get away with lying. "just leave me alone nico." i say trying to walk away, but a hand pulls me back. "this isn't a joke jack, emma is the perfect girl, why can't you see that?" i take in what nico said, i can see it she really is perfect. "i'm torn, i don't know what to do." i confess to him, he nods his head and pats my back. "this is going to sound cringy but its true, do what your heart tells you." nico says with a smile, i thank him before we walk to the locker room.
couch gave me shit about missing the game and all the practices, i told him that it wouldn't happen again and he let me off. after practice was over i said goodbye to everyone and walked out the door. i jumped in my car and started to drive home, i played the playlist emma made me a couple months ago. it made my relieze what the hell i did, deep down i know i need to call emma back. but how could things ever be the same after what i did, i don't even know what i was thinking. i fucking love her, as much as i hate saying that word i mean it. listening to the playlist she made me just broke me into peices, i fucked up big time..
i told myself that i will call her the moment i get home, but the moment i pulled into my driveway everything changed. there she was, emma sat on my porch waiting for me to come home. i get out of my car and walk up to her, she shakes her head the moment she saw me. "emma, let me explain-" i try and say, but emma pushed my chest. she kept on slamming her hands into my chest, i didn't try and stop her because i desurved this and she still doesn't know what i did..
"what are you even thinking jack? not calling or texting me for weeks, for weeks!" emma screemed, i took in everything she said and nodded my head. "i don't know why i did that, or what the hell i was thinking. these past weeks haven't been easy for me but with you being for far, i guess i just- ugh." i say, dragging my hands down my face. "jack if you were dealing with stuff then tell me, i would've helped you." emma tells me, i nod my head once again. i should've came clean and told her that maddie had been texting me, but i couldn't bring myself to do it. "emma i promise you, i will visit you as much as i can and call you every second." i tell emma, she hugs me and mumbled 'i miss you'. my mind completely changed from maddie to emma, now shes truly all i want right now. or at least i think so, i'm screwed for good.
~
i invited emma to come over and stay for a bit, i made us some hot chocolate and the two of us sat down and watched gilmore girls. emma was snuggled into my chest and my hands rubbed up and down her thighs. "hows modeling life?" i ask her, she looks up at me with a smile. "pretty good, busy but i really love it." i was happy that she found something she loved doing, she told me awhile back how she wanted to quit her old job, so its great shes doing what she loves. "i have a show next week, would you like to come?" emma asks, i wanted to go but seeing maddie with emma could be a terrible idea. "of course em, i'll have to check if i have a game though." seeing maddie again isn't a good idea...
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
hey luvsss! this wasn't very good chapter, very boring and ugh. i apoligize again for maddie but shes really important because we needed some damn drama in this book! let me know if anyone has any ideas or something you think will make this book better.
anyways happy reading muah xoxoxoo tayy
