~jegulus oneshots~

YOU DONT LISTEN! - vent

"Oh! And did you know their shooting star tonight! I'm gonna go to the astrology tower so witness it! ive been waiting for it for age-" James nods along looking over the Quidditch game plan "- I was wondering if oy wanted to come with me and we can have a little date... we haven really talked in a while James are you listening to me" Regulus ask "no! I'm not I'm really busy we lost the last 5 games, and I can't figure out why! So sorry my full attention is on you!"

Regulus sits in silence for a second "maybe your losing because you never listen to anyone else" James gets up "what that meant to mean" "you never listen to me! James I'm excited about tonight! You don't even care I listen to you for hours about your interests! But you never listen to me! You make fun of the things I'm excited for! Like that wizard conversion I was so excited about that! And because you couldn't go you would mimic me when I would talk about! You make me feel like shit that I can never talk about anything I like because I'm scared that you're yell at me"

"I only did that because I was jealous! I never said you couldn't talk about it!" he yells back "it made me feel horrible!! Whenever you talk about things that you enjoy, I listen! I don't make you feel bad I don't make fun of you! You do move fun stuff then me but whenever I'm jealous you don't care you keep talking about it!" "Sorry that I'm excited" he says putting his fingers to the bridge of his nose "that! Right their you're making me feel bad for talking to you about something I'm upset about!".

"Regulus I'm very busy right now- I can't talk" regulus slaps his legs "you can never talk! You never talk to me! James I'm struggling can't you see that! When you complain that I don't go to class you don't see what I'm doing I'm not having fun! I'm laying in bed crying having meltdowns after meltdowns! Fighting the urge to relapse I can't eat I can't get out of bed I can hardly breath. Sorry I'm sorry I miss some days! I do it for a reason!".

"stop trying to make me feel bad because you can't get your mental heath in check! I'm struggling as well going into therapy! I have panic attacks coming home from class" "NO YOU DON'T! James what you get is a pent up of stress and you take it out on other people! Panic attacks are when your sat down hyperventilating you get dizzy and feel like you're dying! I can't go around saying I'm having a panic attack while walking and talking normally! My heart raising a little bit is not a panic attack!"

"STOP TRYING TO MAKE THIS ALL ABOUT YOU!" James yells "I'm not! You're not using the right words!" "FUCK OFF THEN" "FINE" I yell running into my room slamming the door shut I race over to my bed crying smacking the mattress over and over again "Reggie?" Barty says standing in the door way "GET OUT" I cry "regulus are-" "GET OUT!" I scream walking towards the door slamming it shut I fall down the door crying holding onto my chest. My breathing starts to pick up feeling my chest tighten "shitt" I cry trying to breath, but the air gets stuck.

I hyperventilate smacking my head agesnt the door holding onto my cheat trying to steady my breathing. I start to calm down feeling the tightness leave I get up slowly going over to my bed laying down in letting my pillow soak up my tears. hours go by ive stopped crying now just laying in silence.

I want it all to stop I don't want to feel like this anyone, but I also don't want to be better. I know the whole point of going to therapy is to help me, but I don't want help.

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Make sure you drink/eat something!!!

Have a good night/day/morning/afternoon

Toby/rowan