~jegulus oneshots~

"Your allowed to grieve"

Sorry for not posting a lot, a lot of change has been happening in my life in the moment and I lost someone that very very close to me. she was one of my best friends and I love her so so much she was in a lot of pain so at least she in pease and doesn't have to hurt anymore . She loved the fact that I wrote story's I would read her stories I wrote (not the ones form this book haha) I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna be posting because writing is my therapy and it really helps me figure out my emotions so you may be getting more chapters then ever haha (no promises) anyway on with the story

Tw – death, suicidal thoughts

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POV regulus

Laying in my cold bed James arms rapped around me not being able to sleep watching the phone waiting for the call blinking away the tears ring ring I grab the phone quickly putting it to my ear "is he ok?! Remus is Sirius ok!" I hear sniffing coming from the other side of the call "Remus please!!!" Remus takes a deep breath "I'm sorry Regulus, Sirius.. he gone" my heart sinks "i-I-I-I'm s-so s-sorry R-Regulus" I hang up the phone placing it down staring off into the night what feels like forever time has stopped in this very moment everything feels not real.

"Reggie!!" I turn around looking at the small boy "Sirius?" I say reaching towards him as my hand goes though him a unexpected gasp leaves my mouth "Reggie!! Come on mum and dad have a surprise for us!!!" The young Sirius yells jumping up and down I feel my body move as a young boy runs through me I look at me running to the other boy as excited "what do you think it is!!" Younger me yells "I don't know! But they have their wands!!" Sick comes up my throat remembering what the surprise is and it definitely wasn't good, this was the day before Sirius ran away before mum and dad found out he was gay before I lost all those years with him all that time gone-

I blink away looking around me feeling arms around me "Reggie I'm so sorry" I hug him back not knowing what to do or what to think wanting to scream but also just any to lay down and never get up so many questions going though my head wanting to know everything but also just not wanting to hear his name wanting it to be me instead of him I should have been me. James keeps repeating his apologies playing with my hair I lay back down he follows with "Reggie?" He ask in a worried voice I look at him slowly "it's ok to cry.. you can grieve" I look back down hiding me face into his chest "I s- s-should h-h-have b-been me" I say voice cracking "please don't say that Reggie... he was ill he been ill for a while now" I grab onto his shirt "please never say that again regulus" tears stream down James face while I lay there not crying a single tear.

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Hello people, I'm very tired and I really don't know how to feel I'm really bad with emotions and everything is a lot right now hopefully ill be posting stuff soon.

Make sure you drink/eat something

Have a good night/day/morning/afternoon

Toby/Marlene/rowan