~jegulus oneshots~

There's much to be said for feeling numb..

Triggering chapter:

"I'm sorry regulus, but I can't loose Sirius over this he really mad. I think we should break up. I hope we can still be friends" James says fidgeting In seat, I look at him blinking away the tears "okay then. I'll see you round James" i get up slowly form the couch, James grabs my hand standing up "i still care about you." I pull my hand away as a tear falls from my eye "touch me again and I'll rip out your heart." James stands back a bit "Reggie don't be like that" I shake my head "don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't even think about me... You're dead to me potter. I fucking hate you. I knew it was to good to be true honestly how could I be so stupid." James pushes his hair back away from his face I feel my chest tighten "So it's potter again." I turn away walking towards the door "bye potter."

I walk out the Gryffindor common room tears streaming from my face I cover my mouth trying to calm down as ugly tears fall from my face I stumble to the astrology tower lighting a cigarette breathing it in deep and holding it, I get up the stairs laying down on the floor heaving sobs that make me feel sick. I hug myself rocking back and forth trying to calm down I shake slowly get to the side of the tower sitting there crying I pinch my skin over and over until I dig my nails in causing it to bleed.

I lay on the wooden floor for hours crying until I can't anymore. I get up eventually walking though hogwarts it's 4 in the morning so no one's around I go to changing room grabbing my spare bottle of vodka drinking it while walking around stumbling around I get to my dorm packing a small bag lighting a cigarette walking out wiping my face "REGULUS!" I turn around seeing Sirius and Remus running towards me "what happened! We was worried sick barty said you didn't show up to any of your lessons today" I keep walking away "go away Sirius" I keep drinking remus grabs the bottle "have you drank nearly all of that how are you not nocked out" Remus says throwing the bottle in a passing bin "and why would you do thatttt" Sirius rolls his eyes "we taking you to bed" he grabs my arm I pull away quickly "DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME" I stumble back but managed to catch myself when i hear more people walking towards us "Reggie! Oh thank Merlin!" Evan yells running and hugging me I cry into him try to get away I fall onto the floor crying "what's wrong with him" Marlene asks looking at Sirius "he gotten really drunk.. we don't know why" James walks form the other direction with lily and Barty "oh thank fuck he safe, you really fucking scared us Reggie" barty says leaning over holding his chest I try to get up after a lot of failing I managed finally to stay standing "Regulus what happened" I shake my head slowly as tears flow down my face "hay don't cry it's fine we not mad" Sirius says walking closer grabbing a hold of my hand I back away "please don't touch me- just leave me alone I'm- I'm going home" i stumble away while they follow me "why the hell are you going back home!" Sirius yells i hold onto the side "I have no reason to stay anymore.." I look at barty and Evan "I'll see you in the half terms" I turn around "regulus you can't leave they make you get the mark! They will hurt you" James yells "WHY DO YOU CARE! YOU LOST THE PRIVILEGE TO CARE ABOUT ME!".

He grabs my bag off my shoulder "you're not leaving! Your drunk and upset" James says I try to grab my bag "give it back!" He dodges me while I stumble after him "JUST FUCKING GIVE IT BACK!" He shakes his head "I'm not letting you ruin your life just because we not together anymore. It's not the end of the world regulus!" I laugh pulling my hair "James you was the only good thing in my life. I lived for you- no I lived because of you and I'm sorry that I'm a shitty person for admitting that but I don't see why I should stay here getting a education just to be pulled out to be a death eater. I can't escape my fate, why prolong it" I stumble to the front of the school while they all follow me.

Mother and Lucius stand there waiting I stumble to them Sirius grabs my arm "please Reggie don't do this. This is you giving up we can get you help please don't do this." I pull my arm away "fuck off traitor" I stumble to mother she smiling holding her cane in her hand "I'm proud of you regulus." Lucius raps his arm around my shoulder "we got a meeting set up for the morning" I bite my lip shaking he leads me into the car I look out the window to everyone standing there. "You made the right decision regulus." He touches his finger on the side of my thigh, I look at Lucius slowly "if you ever touch me again I'll kill you. Don't think I'm joking Lucius. I don't give a shit that Narcissa is pregnant with your child. I will rip out your insides and make you choke on them." He moves his hands In the air laughing "you finally grew a backbone, if only you would be like that to your mother and father." I pull my legs up to my chest crying quietly hugging myself as my mother gets into the carriage "regulus sit straight you look pathetic." The carriage pulls off as Sirius and the rest watch until I'm out of site
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Make sure you drink/eat something!!!

Have a good night/day/morning/afternoon

rowan