~jegulus oneshots~

Up and down night part 2

I sob in my bed as James hugs me holding me close when I hear the door open "regulus?" I look at Evan tears still streaming not stopping any time soon "we banged barty all up.. and stopped the bleeding" I cry hiding into James "I-i-I'm a m-monster" I cry, James starts to rub my back "your not a monster love" I shake my head putting my hand on my chest. "Ill leave you two be" Evan says getting up "cheers Evan" James says Evan nods smiling walking out and shutting the door.

"I'm a t-terri-ble p-p-person" James hugs me tighter "I'm worse then my mother" I hear James breathing hicks, he moves around lifting me up trying to my make me sit up I shake my head crying "regulus please I need you to listen to me." I cry looking at him "I hate seeing you like this, regulus your not a monster or a terrible person, and your definitely nothing like your mother" I crying more into my sleeve "regulus you have PTSD-" I shake my head "no I don't she just-" he grabs my hand "regulus listen to me. You can admit you was abused, you can say you went though all this stuff and that's why you do things but- why can't you admit you have PTSD" I cry more shaking my head "because it was never that bad.. I don't deserve to have trauma over something that- Sirius had it worse" James laughs holding my hand tighter "regulus you do not compare trauma- Sirius may had it worse hypothetically with the cruciates curse" I jittery moving a little away looking around for a hand but he rubs starts over hand "but you had it worse with the imperius curse" I heavy sob falls out of my mouth.

"What she did two the both of you was unbelievably cruel, but what he did to you regulus was-" I shake my head sobbing into my heads "p-please j-James not k-k-know I can't h-hear about it n-n-now later p-please I can't do- this r-right- now" he drops his hands pushing his hair out of his face "can I touch you?" I shake my head repeatedly diting my nails "okay that's okay" I rub my eyes trying to calm down "we gonna go talk to a doctor.." James says softly I shake my head "yes we are regulus we gonna go and tell them what you have gone though, get you into therapy, maybe some medicine to help with the panic attack and flash backs" I sob laying down curling into myself he sighs "I think we need to get out of this room.. when you calm down do you want to go to the living room and watch a movie?" I shrug my shoulders, he looks around "how about I go tell everybody that your finding it a bit hard at the moment but you wanna try and be with everyone but just don't touch you" I nod slowly "yeah do you think you can do that" he ask I nod my head "okay do you want me to stay or go tell everybody then come back" I look up rubbing my eyes pointing at the door.

"Okay I will be back in 5 minutes" he gets up walking to the door shutting it I hear footsteps getting further away I get up slowly walking over to the wardrobe grabbing a chair climbing on it searching though the boxes pulling out cigarette lighter and a bag of pills I climb down sitting down on the floor lighting the cigarette and placing it in between my lips shaking taking a deep breath I rest my head on wall breathing it out slowly grabbing bag of pills smashing them on the side snorting them up and laying on the floor looking around the room slowly, when I hear the door open I sit up slowly "Regulus.. you alright" Evan says sitting down in front of me I nod slowly "Regulus are you high?" I nod slowly resting my head on my knees, "Regulus where did you get this" I sit up slowly "my friend, he got me it he really nice" Evan nods helping me up off the ground "okay I'm gonna go get you some water and James" I look at him shaking my head "don't get James he- he doesn't like that I still use drugs or smoke he hates it please don't tell him" I say laying on the bed, "well what am I meant to say! Your very obviously high and smell of cigarettes" I laugh hugging James pillow "regulus! Stay focused! I'm getting barty" I shake my head "no he- I'm fineee just say I've fell asleep it's fine" I say dropping my head into his pillow, I hear a huff coming form Evan "fine." And a slam of a door.

Smoking a cigarette I lay on the bed tears streaming down my face making the bed stained with my tears I get up slowly taking more pills smashing them down with his whisky putting my cigarette out "regulus go outside" I look around frantically "go outside" I feel my breathing picking up I reach towards the door walking out slowly "go outside" I walk though the house every step sounding louder then the next I hold onto the walls trying to support myself I keep walking when I hear my name being called but by a more familiar voice "j-Jamie?" He stands in front of me looking worried "âRê Yǒÿ òķAy yøu lǒoK li/e y0U sAw a dêåd bôdy" I resting my head on the wall sliding down he follows looking around "regulussss" I crawl a bit trying to find my feet but keep falling again "rEğuľUs wHerře aRẽ yôuU gôiNg" I get up walking towards the living room looking around seeing loads of faces look at me voice coming at me in all directions I feel pressure on my arm scream falls form my mouth "hurt them" I swing my arm but loose my feet plummeting to the floor hitting my head on the cold stone ground I get up slowly still hearing people rushing around me "rEğuľUs yôuUr bLEêďiNg còMe Siț ďoWö" I move away holding on to the side "get out quickly there are going to hurt you. Now get out NOW" I stumble towards the door crying streaming down my face opening it and running out to the side of the road I wipe my eyes seeing blur figures follow me I look out on the busy road lights everywhere "rEğuľUs jüSț ćǒmẽ hõmē" I cry holding on to my arm that I hurt somehow "regulus walk go" I look out into the road trying to focus my vision when a men white long hair black robes cane standing in the middle violent tears stream down my face "come on regulus, you know you can't escape me, you can't tell yourself that you hate me because I never did anything wrong" I sob grabbed at my skin feeling like I'm on fire "fuck off!" I yell grabbing my hair "do it. Walk forward show them that your not well prove to them that you need help" my breathing quickens I go to take a step when I get pulled onto the ground..
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Make sure you drink/eat something!!!
have a good night/day/morning/afternoon
rowan