𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗟𝗗 𝗙𝗨𝗟𝗟 𝗢𝗙 𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗞𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦 ༄ 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗇𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝗈𝖽𝖺𝗂𝗋

chapter fifteen

- HOUR AFTER HOUR -

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WHILE PEETA WAS collecting fresh water from the spile a few paces from the pond and Finnick and Katniss were making sure every inch of their bodies were rid of the remnants of the fog, Nadia was cleaning off her knives she hadn't had a chance to get to after the bloodbath having no water source aside from the spile until now.

Wiping Woof's blood from her blade, she couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder about Mags. Guilt, really.

In the moment it seemed impossible, but thinking back, she felt she could've done a lot more to help her. She could've at least tried, whether it be lending her hand to help her walk no matter how slow, or she even thought she could've carried the woman on her back. But she didn't. And now Finnick was left without a single piece of family.

She felt sick to her stomach hearing Katniss offer him sympathy, then even worse when he replied saying, 'She was never gonna make it.'

She looked down at the water she was sitting in for a moment, guilt ridden and ashamed, sad for the man who lost his mother figure.

Wading towards her was the man himself, but she could only spare him a single glance before adverting her eyes back to her knife.

He caught on quickly to her demeanor, eight years practically studying her every expression. Now closer and right in front of her, his squinted eyes analyzed her features as she continued avoiding him.

Finnick sat beside her, allowing one last moment of silence before willing himself to speak, no matter how hard it was with the fear of emotion choking him up.

"I know you're blaming yourself." He said.

Was she really that transparent? She could fool an entire country, but when it came to Finnick she'd fold in a matter of minutes.

"It wasn't your fault-"

"Maybe, but I could've done a lot more." She faced him and her eyes stung holding back her tears. "...I didn't even try."

Nadia let her eyes drift back to her knife as she continued rubbing off blood that wasn't even there, only using it as an excuse to keep him from prying.

It hurt looking at him and knowing he'd lost Mags. Especially when she had it implanted in her mind that she could've done more.

"I was trying to think of some way that it could've gone differently, and I can't help but feel at fault too." He said quietly like he was trying to remain afloat while everything around him kept hitting him like waves during a storm. "But any more time spent back there and I'm sure we all would've been dead."

"Still..." Nadia was expectedly unconvinced, her head shaking as Mags' death irked her. It goes without saying she was despondent, but she was also angry. If Snow didn't put them all here in the first place, she wouldn't be dead.

Instead of dwelling and making a fuss like she so desperately wanted to, -like she always wants to- she scooted closer to Finnick and rested her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly as she pressed a featherlight kiss to his jaw.