Carrying the Torch

Chapter 9

"Get the pepperonis out. I got the bacon all cut up."

I open the freezer door and grab the package of pepperonis. I set them next to the pan of pizza. We are making homemade pizza with sausage, pepperoni and bacon.

Luke lays out the pepperonis and I spread the mozzarella cheese on and I put it in the oven, setting the timer.

I sit on the counter and Luke stands between my legs. We are about the same height now. "Hello, my love," I say, looking at him. He brings his lips towards mine and I pull back. "I love you. So, so much."

He nods. "I know. I love you too." I kiss him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He sets his hands on my waist and moves to my neck. "You are amazing," he whispers in my ear. I smile and turn his head back to kiss my lips.

The timer on the oven goes off and Luke groans before stepping back and helping me off the counter. He grabs the pizza out of the oven and I grab plates and glasses out if the cupboard, setting them on the counter.

Luke cuts the pizza and puts a piece on each plate. "This looks awesome!" We take a bite at the same time. "Oh my amazing!"

"We are fricking amazing. Damn we're good."

"I'm gonna miss this, you and us." A single tear rolls down my face.

"I know," he kisses my forehead. "I will too," he kisses my nose. "Buts it's gonna be okay. I promise," he kisses my lips.

))

"What in the hell are we going to do for our wedding. I can't do this! I really have no idea what is going to happen." I bring my eyes to meet Luke's. "I'm scared."

"I know. I am too. I don't know how it will work, but it will. I love you and that's all that matters. You don't have to worry."

"Stop telling me that!" I stand up from the couch. "People always say 'don't worry about it,' well guess what? I'm gonna worry." I'm mad now. "That's who I am. That's what I do. What if we have a bad connection or a wire gets cut. What then?"

Luke stands up next to me. "I know. I'm sorry. I don't want you to be mad at me. We are almost out of time together. I'm sorry. But we will have the best internet that anybody can ask for. The kind of wifi they have in the spy shows that nobody can hack into. Even though people always do hack it, but that ain't the point. And Philip is a groomsmen. He does that shit for a living. He will be in the front row and will have his car packed with stuff just in case he needs tools.

"You know I'm not gonna promise you anything because, we both know you hate that, but we can hope it will work out. And that's all we can do."

I nod because I know he's right.

"Come upstairs. It's late and we have a big day."

"I just wanna sleep here," I whine.

"Standing up like a horse?" I nod. "Cmon. I'll give you a back massage..."

"Okay!" I sprint up the stairs in front of him and run to my closet. I take off my shirt and pants, leaving on just a cami and boy shorts. I walk out of the closet just as Luke comes in our room. He smirks when he sees me and walks into the closet. Laying down on the bed on my stomach waiting for him, I pull my hair into a messy bun. Luke comes out wearing sweatpants and lays down on his side next to me.

"You look beautiful," he smiles.

"You have beautiful abs," I smirk at him.

"I know. Don't you worry." I kiss him.

"I thought we came up so you could rub my back," I whine.

He raises his eyebrows at me. "Feisty are we?" I glare at him. He chuckles and starts rubbing my back.

"Wait, nine months? I though the shortest amount of time was 12?"

"I don't know. I'm just repeating what they told me. Let's not talk about that. I just wanna lay here with you."

"Okay." I yawn.

"Go to sleep."

"No," I reply. "I don't wanna. This is the last night in a long, long time that we will be together. I don't-"

He cuts me off. "I know but that doesn't mean that we don't need sleep. Goodnight. I love you." And I know that he means it. He kisses me.

"I love you too."

))

I roll over and look at the clock. Two a.m. I can't sleep. I'm doing too much of this whole thinking thing. I need some fresh air. I peel Luke's arm off my waist and walk out onto the balcony.

The cold air hits my bare legs and it gives me goosebumps, but it's refreshing. I stand at the railing and look out over our land. I can see the silhouettes of the cows in the pasture, and hear some calves balling for their mothers.

Everything is so still and calm. It is amazingly beautiful. This is why I live in the country.

I jump up on the railing turning to face the scenery with my legs hanging off the edge. I never really liked heights, but this is relaxing right now.

I feel an arm wrap around my waist and I almost fall off the balcony in surprise. Luke chuckles behind me. "Holy shit you scared me." He kisses my shoulder and I relax into him.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Waiting for the pizza delivery guy."

"It's two a.m. What's the real reason?"

I sigh. "I'm thinking again."

"That's never good. Talk to me."

I shake my head. "It's nothing important," except it's super important.

"I have known you for too long. What is it?"

I turn around to face him. He stands between my legs, looking up with loving eyes. "I can't do this. There's no way it will work."

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know. The wedding. We can't FaceTime. There is literally no way that it would work. I can't. I am so sorry," tears are spilling out of my eyes. "I- we have to postpone it. We can wait a year. I'm so sorry."

"Hey hey. Shh. It's okay. That's okay." He caresses my cheek and wipes my tears away with his thumbs. "I have been thinking the same thing, but I thought that you wanted it this way. That's why I didn't say anything. I wanted to keep you happy."

"Thank you," I say, resting my forehead against his so our breaths are mixing. "But I want you to have an opinion. Okay?"

"Okay. But hey, wait, isn't Esperanza completely done planning the wedding. Isn't everything done?"

"Yeah, the bridesmaids dresses are in and my dress is fitted. All the tuxes are ready to be rented."

"That's okay though. We will talk to Esperanza. Don't worry. I love you. It's okay."

He sets his hands on my hips. I sigh. "I love you too." I hug him. I feel safe with him.

"We both need sleep. C'mon."

We lay down together, me wrapped in his arms.