Twenty-Three-Bernadette

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As I'm entering Armani's Benz, my phone rings and Thabo goes up all in my ear, asking how I am and if everything's alright. I assure him likewise. What irks me is that I forgot to put the phone on silent before sneaking into the store. Very sloppy, Bernadette. If Thabo had called me by the time I hid under the clerk counter, I wouldn't have Krystal's number saved as of now.

"Darling, you've met the girl? You got what you wanted?"

"Yeah. But I'm far from done."

Armani rolls her eyes and groans. "Aw, come on. We haven't got all day, you know? I heard the store might close early."

I narrow my eyes at her. "Would you please relax? I promise we will go as soon as I make a call."

"Well, I'd speed it up if I were you because I think I saw a police car somewhere."

Her words catch me by surprise. "When?" She gestures towards the front of a mechanic store and when I take a closer look, my heart skips two beats at a time. Amongst the crowd of people walking back and forth, I spot Officer Baduza passing through the door in his uniform.

"Oh, damn," I groan. "Well, we have to go shopping now."

"Thank the Lord!" Armani bellows. She dashes out of the driver's seat as if she had been held hostage for a whole hour.

***

"Darling, I think he's trying to ask me out," Armani says, gesturing to the young, handsome, and slender retailer in glasses. We've moved back and forth, searching through aisle after aisle for decent clothes but the only ones that grab our attention so far are two pairs of sundresses and a sparkling, velvet hat.

"How do you know? Wait, let me guess. You used your stud-dar? As in, radar for young studs?"

She flashes me a cheeky grin. "You're damn right, darling. They flatter around me like butterflies, I'm telling you. I mean just look at him and observe. In a matter of seconds, you're gonna see his bombastic side-eye."

Sighing, I follow her gaze at the young retailer, and just as she predicted, he flashes a glare at Armani and locks his focus back on the desk, the blush on his cheeks so imminent. Armani winks at me. "What did I tell you?"

I scoff. "I hope this one's legal. The kid looks like he's barely twenty, Armani."

She kisses her teeth. "My stud-dar never lies, darling. Either way, I'm still going to leave the store with my number saved on his phone."

Since I need the privacy to make the call to Krystal, I use the only distraction I can get. "Why don't you go and find out if he's actually interested?"

"And make it easy for him, hell to the no. The price on Armani's booty has gone high."

I sigh. "I don't mean approach him, stand a bit closer, and keep giving him the signal. If we keep standing together for a while, he might get the impression you're not in the mood for talk."

"Hm." Armani tilts her head, then smirks. "A woman of wisdom, you are, darling." She pats her big, bushy ponytail, shifts the front of her grey shirt dress to reveal a slight amount of her massive cleavage, and then, with the sway of those big, luscious curves of hers, catwalks to the position of her target.

While Armani's on the prowl, I saunter further into a quiet corner and, after a deep breath, dial Krystal's number. A mother cuddling her baby walks past me. The sight of them does something to me. It's like looking at the image of them sends a tingle down my spine. I don't know how to explain, but the image is so familiar it makes me smile.

"Hello?" Krystal replies.

Taking a deep breath in and out, I answer, deepening my voice a bit; "Afternoon. Is this Krystal? From Bongani's Books?"

"Um, yes. May I ask who is speaking?" In the background, I hear the sound of the Bad Habits' theme song play. She must be in her living room.

"I'm a friend of the clerk who works for you. Imani."

A brief silence passes between the lines. "Okay. How did you get my number, please?"

"I went to the store's website and saw it over there. I didn't have any way to reach Imani, 'cause she's not been answering my calls or texts. Our friendship ended on bad terms. We fought. It wasn't pretty."

Krystal sighs after taking a sip from her drink, I believe. "Sorry to hear this. What can I do for you?"

"May I ask how you met her? When was the first day you hired her?"

Krystal sniffs. "Last year."

Again, the awkward silence passes. "Please, may I know how you came across Imani?"

The silence passes again. "Aren't you going to tell me your name?"

"Oh, sorry." My eyes wander over to the Chanel brand of wedding dresses further from my left. "Chanel. I only want to know how you met her, please. The last moment I spent with her, I had to force her to go seek therapy, you know."

Krystal scoffs. "Because she's trouble, right?"

"Yeah."

"What was wrong with her?"

Seeing what my doppelganger did to her husband, including what I think she's done, I have no guilt in this. "Imani had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Our friendship was spent in hospitals most of the time because she couldn't control herself. Some people had been emotionally hurt."

"Wow." Krystal sniffs, then takes a sip. "Now, it makes sense. She's been reading this book ever since we hired her. Something about mental illness. I get it now."

"Yeah." I scratch the top of my head. I swear, these ridiculous wigs make me itch.

"Andy, my husband. He hired her when she came looking for us for vacancy. Our business was about to collapse 'cause we lost all our employees. Months went by, and our business was booming. We had customers swarming in and out. But on the first day, I got a weird vibe from her." She sniffs again, and this time blows her nose. "My relationship with my husband hasn't been rosy. We're far from your average, suburban couple. I'll admit, I've been obsessive and controlling of Andy. I'm always showing up to the store unannounced. I'm always taking out my anger on his employees. I have this fear Andy might be seduced into an affair, and then he'll end up divorcing me."

She sniffs again, continuing with a shaky voice; "But with Imani, oh, I can see it. She has this mischief surrounding her anytime I'm in her presence; I sense it. I might be spiritual, but I'm no believer in religion, so I don't know. I know Imani is coming after my man. All this humble, loyal worker bullshit she pulls off, it's all an act to impress Andy. He's attracted to the innocent type. That's what turns him on. I was the innocent type when I first met him. Somehow, she was able to determine this about his character. Now, this bitch will do anything to win my man's heart."

He already has. I want to tell her, but I hold my tongue. "Well, Imani's that kind of girl. Just be careful."

"I'm scared of being alone, Chanel." Krystal's breathing grows hurried and her voice turns weepy. "I don't want to know what the pain's like. My parents got divorced when I was only four. I had to live with my drunken bitch of a mother, who wouldn't ever let me see my dad. If my Andy divorces me, I'll kill myself before I experience the pain."

Imani clutching Andy's behind and kissing him comes to mind. Because I don't want to tell her Andy is planning to leave her, I decide to end the talk. "I have to go. Thank you for answering my call."

"Hamba Khale, Chanel."


BERNADETTE

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