The Deal

Twenty-Six-Imani

"You look really happy today," Mike, a regular customer says as I pack all four of the book series into the paper bag.

"Well, Mikey, some people say life sucks, but I've finally found out life has a funny way of proving you wrong." I wink at him as he collects the bag and fishes out his wallet.

"Ah. It's a good thing you found out. Care to share the good news? A new lover? I hope I'm not prying?"

Make no friends. Bill's sharp words strike the back of my head like darts. My hand keeps twitching a little bit. The truth is I can't stop grinning because I've never felt this much excitement. I'm starting to think breaking the number one rule wouldn't hurt so much. "Something like that. Don't worry, I'll tell you the next time we meet."

Mikey nods and smiles. "Don't kiss and tell, right? I get it. I get it. I hope your relationship lasts as long as the number of years I've lived."

I say goodbye and smile as he exits the door. When I left Kaya and Richelle back home, I told them about the possibility of a new man entering our lives. His name would be Andrew Bongani. Life has been like a dream so far because I'm still held in disbelief. We made love in his office and it felt so amazing. I know we haven't even dated yet but I felt this connection between us. From the moment Andy told me he'll divorce the bitching diva, Krystal, I knew where his allegiance now lay. But this affair is wrong on so many levels. What would Bill say when he finds me sleeping with Andy?

One of the secrets I kept from Kaya and Richelle was the promise I'd made to Bill; I promised him I would wait for him even when he disappeared. Bill warned me. He gave me a small hint he would disappear without telling us, but I didn't pay attention to it. I didn't expect the man to leave so soon. He may be watching me now, shaking his head and muttering to himself; "You're so gullible and desperate, Imani." Well, if Bill had the balls to show up, I'll tell him to his face; "You were dead wrong." Then there's Andrew. He ticks all the boxes of a perfect man. I know, what a cliché. He strikes me as the type that would respect and obey me. The type who won't question or judge me all the time.

Reading my book, I imagine how my kids would react to Andrew as their stepfather. It would be lovely for him to get to know my kids, but I hope he is comfortable with them. But then I wonder how he would look tied to the mattress on my bed, looking helpless. Would Andy obey me if I told him to tie himself up and stay quiet while I'm gone out of the house? Would he listen to all the things I tell him to do? Andrew's voice is like a tune from a violin. I wonder how he'll sound when I make him beg for me to release him from the bonds. Would he shed tears or would he berate me with insults? Andrew would not only make the perfect husband, but also the perfect sex object.

A book falls from the shelf in the Science Fiction aisle, and the thud snaps me from the ill thoughts. What the hell? I look down and realize I've drawn a rough sketch of a masculine body being tied to chains at the back of my book. My heart racing, I drop the pen and shake my head. Where the hell are these insane thoughts coming from? I was wrong. I do need Bill back. I should have gone to the private investigator I talked to my kids about, but Andrew has been a distraction. I march to the dispenser to fetch a cup of water to chug down. First, it was the lady with the paparazzi. Her motionless body fascinated me, and now I'm thinking of my married boss being held captive in my house. Bill once told me he understood these fantasies I've been having. They even started while I was with Ivan.

The question really is; do I want to stop having them? No. Fantasies are thoughts. I'll never act on them. I'll have to be insane to do so. As I chug the second cup of cold, fresh water, the bell chimes, reminding me to switch back to clerk mode. Making my way back to the desk, the sound of meandering footsteps echo towards me. I lift my head and pull a fake smile, but then the corners of my mouth go down. Where have I seen you before?