The Deal

Nineteen-Imani

Since moving to this town, I couldn't sleep. It's like this every night. With my mind made up, I can say sleep has become non-existent. Most of the night, I spent it pacing in the living room. Right now, I feel like my eyes could fall from their sockets at any time, even with the bags formed underneath them. Even when I stood by my bed, all I did was stare at it with a dead expression. I wondered; what would it be like to sleep on it once again. How long had it even been since I lay down on it? I seriously can't remember.

The morning sun rays flow through the curtains, and when it comes to my notice, I immediately draw them close. Anytime I stand by the window, an eerie thought speaks to me. I keep thinking; what if people are watching my kids? When the urge to check on Kaya and Richelle creeps in, I remember I have to take the pills. I fetch a glass of water and chug them down at a go. When sleep's not able to find me, at least they grant me some form of satisfaction. Arcing my back against the kitchen wall, the pink-haired lady from last night comes to mind. The way she lay on the floor like a corpse. A smile forms on my face just thinking about it. The picture frames of me, Kaya, and Richelle feed me with slight calmness. Those were taken years back in our previous town. Good ol' memories.

Again, I'm alerted by the urge to check on them, and so I parade up the stairs. I flinch, listening to the creek of the wood when I take one step after the other. I hurl the door open, but I frown when I find out the curtains aren't drawn. I draw them close at once. Shame on you, Bill. If you were present, you'd be here watching them too. I stand straight, admiring the figures of the two most important people in my life, only to realize there's something wrong. When I fling the comforters off the beds, I gasp. They're not here.

"No," I whisper. My throat grows constricted while my shoulders tense. Where the hell are they?

My heart rate quickens. "No! No! No!" I can't help it. I have no idea what to do because I haven't had sleep. I scatter towards the wardrobe and rip out clothes. I utter a scream as I do so. Where would they go to? This can't be happening. I don't want to be marching into people's homes, or worst of all, interact with them. I've done all I can up till now, lessening my interactions with the neighbours. They'll find out what I did, and Bill will be disappointed. I imagine Bill appearing in the doorway, the happy smile on his face turning upside down when she finds out I lost Kaya and Richelle. Bill will be furious. I don't like it when Bill's furious with me. "No!" I yell to myself. "Calm down. No need to panic. Kaya and Richelle are safe."

I rush to the bathroom and scan my reflection in the mirror. Take a deep breath, in and out, I warn myself. I reflect on where Kaya and Richelle would normally sneak out to. Kaya is always the brother who'll be the lead. Every decision he makes, Richelle follows. Kaya must have told her to follow him. That's how they would sneak out at night. A thought occurs.

Of course, the neighbors! I storm past the front door and, without watching out for oncoming vehicles, charge straight towards the house across the street. I knock on the door like a blind bat flapping its wings in daylight. When there's no reply, I bang the door again until it's finally opened.

A young woman, with a braided ponytail and yellow slip dress, appears. "We have a doorbell; you know?" When she gapes at me further, her face straightens. "Oh, you live across the street." The woman undresses me with her eyes, instead of saying anything, and I slowly lose patience. "I'm sorry for the disturbance. Have you seen my kids?" I ask, forcing a grin.

"Imani, right?" she inquires.

"Yes," I shoot back at her.

"Wait here." She leaves my sight, and after a few minutes, a young man with afro hair, an oversized shirt, and very short pants appears. How can he dress like this? I hope Kaya and Richelle aren't around him.

"Um, good morning, Imani," he says. "Sorry if we caused you an alarm. Kaya and Richelle only wanted to watch Bad Habits so, last night they persuaded us to let 'em crash in at ours. They should have informed you first. I know, and I apologise on their behalf."

My muscles relax as the tension subsides. "I see."

"I'll go bring them," he says and leaves. I stand here with his partner, soaking in the awkward silence around us. "Are you all right?" she asks.

"Of course. Why do you ask?"

"Sorry for saying this, but you look like you haven't slept in a week."

I force a smile. "I'm okay." The boy brings my son and daughter out, and I do whatever I can to bottle the anger rising within me. Kaya shoots me a smug frown, while his sister looks at her feet. I nod at the couple. "Thank you. I'll make sure this won't happen again."

"It's not a problem at all," the young man says. "Please do go easy on them. We don't mind them coming to watch TV with us at all."

His words fall on deaf ears. When I enter the house, I slam the door hard.

"Mom, we were only watching TV," Kaya points out. "We didn't do anything wrong."

I clench my fist and grind my teeth. "You didn't do anything wrong? Are you insane?"

Richelle's eyes are still on the floor. "Ricci! Look at me!" I bark. With reluctance, she does. "What is the number one rule?"

Kaya rolls his eyes at me, but I ignore him. "Don't get involved in people's business," Richelle replies.

Kaya groans. "But why?! Staying in the house is boring! The only places we go to are school, church, or once in a while, the movies! We're tired of reading stupid books all the time!"

"Kaya!" I shriek. I'm tempted to smack him across the face, but I hold it in. "Never raise your voice at me again."

"I'm sorry but it's the truth."

Richelle fakes a cough, and I'm glad she finally has something to say. "Why can't we watch TV like every other kid, mom?"

I release a sigh. "You two always come at me with your questions. If I could afford to get you one, I would gladly do so. What show were you so excited about you had to sneak behind my back to see anyway?"

"It's called Bad Habits, Mom," Kaya says. "It's a very funny show. Everyone talks about it. D'you know how it feels like when the other kids laugh at us because we tell them we don't know anything about the show?"

"Yeah, Mom," Richelle voices out. "It's so funny. Did you know the woman who plays the main superstar looks like you?"

"Really?" My eyebrows shoot up.

Kaya furrows his brows. "Are you okay, mom? You haven't been sleeping again."

"I'm fine." I fold my arms and take a breath in and out. If I want to make sure I keep this family safe and stable, I'll do whatever. I've come to the realization I can't handle them alone. "Look, let's make a deal. If I get you guys a TV, do you promise to stick to the rule? It's very important."

Kaya and Richelle steal a glance at each other, then nod.

"Is Bill coming home?" Richelle asks. "Has he talked to you yet?"

"I'm getting there," I reply. "So let me finish talking. The number one rule. As long as you abide by it, we'll look for Bill."

Kaya and Richelle jolt with excitement.

"But has he called you?" Kaya inquires.

"No. But this is the plan. I've found a private investigator. Do you know what that is?"

Richelle quietly shakes her head.

"Detectives. Secret detectives?" Kaya asks.

"Yeah, honey. This detective will help us find Bill. You don't have to worry about him anymore."