The Deal

Thirty Six-Imani

I watch in admiration as Andy chugs his glass of wine. Non-alcoholic. The ripple on his neck as he takes in gulp after gulp is so mesmerizing. His skin is so beautiful. I'm eager to find out what my name would look like, carved into the pretty, pale skin. It would beautify it.

"We deserve this," Andy says, pouring a third glass. Someone's thirsty. "Cheers to finding my divorce attorney. I couldn't have been motivated to do so without you, my lovely Imani."

I giggle at the way he calls my name. "My pleasure, boss." When he chugs his glass, I follow up by taking a sip from my glass.

"Let's make a deal. You only get to call me boss when we're in bed. Anywhere apart from that, you call me by my first name." He wraps his warm fingers around my palm. "Is that a deal?"

"Hmm. I don't make deals, but I'll take it." I pull my face into a grin as I imagine what our first time having proper sex would be like. It'll probably involve him begging me to have mercy on him. While he's helplessly trapped with no way to escape. He will be mine to control for as long as I live. I'm eager to find out how long I could keep him as my prisoner. Could I keep him till I'm old and grey? Maybe.

Andy chuckles. "Getting away from Krystal would feel like a dream come true, I swear. I just have to get her to sign the papers, then I'm free!"

A flame of guilt suddenly ignites in me. If I had been patient and controlled myself a bit longer, the bitching diva would have signed. She wouldn't; not without a fight. But I could have forced her to. Now, she won't be missed.

"Krystal was such a nightmare. I couldn't imagine another man taking her shit. My God, being with her for fifteen years ain't no joke. It drained me emotionally and mentally. You know, I'd been having dark thoughts."

I raise my brows. "Dark thoughts, you say?"

"Yup. There have been countless times I've fantasized about bad things happening to Krystal. I imagined her getting hit by a truck, falling off the building, hanging herself, or even better, getting poisoned by the stupid coffee she takes in the morning."

"Wow." I take a tiny sip of wine. I almost chuckle, thinking about the last fantasy he revealed. Irony can be so unpredictable. We have so much in common, after all. It's just that his fantasies are cute and innocent compared to the ones I'm having about him right now.

"Oh my God," Andy voices out after chugging another glass. "Liquid courage, eh? I've revealed so much about my inner dark thoughts to you."

"It's non-alcoholic," I point out, giggling.

He bulges his eyes and the way he does makes me burst into a chuckle. "Damn. Well, I guess it must be you, my lovely Imani. You're magical. Do you tend to have that effect on men?"

"Well, it was quite the opposite. The effect I had on them, I mean."

"Hm." As he pours the final glass, he suddenly yawns. I watch with excitement as he chugs it down. He saunters off, but then he yawns again. "Wow. I'm.... tired? No. Sleepy, I guess."

"You could use the rest of the day to sleep, Andy. You've stressed yourself a bit with this divorce issue. Just sleep and dream about our wedding day."

Andy smiles and points a finger at me. "Now that is my motivation." As he motions into his office, I pat myself on the back and say, "Good job". I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do to you, Andrew. Who knows? Maybe you might like it. But this is strictly for my pleasure, not yours.

***

I turn the closed sign around to face the outside after a long day of reading and waiting for a customer to show up. Thankfully, no one wanted to buy a book today. It gave me full time to read, and now I'm almost done with How to Embrace Mental Illness. I've never found reading interesting. It was only when I came across this till my interest developed. I read it because I heard those who suffered trauma could sometimes be vulnerable to mental instability as years go by. Should I embrace this new side of me?

I remind myself to kill Bill when or if he ever shows up. I don't want him to ruin this.

Ade won't make it today because he called in sick. A painful tummy ache, unfortunately. I open the office door and smile at Andy's slumped figure. He's leaning back in his chair, while his mouth hangs open, snoring loudly. He looks so peaceful sitting still.

A darker thought worries me, though. How could I embrace the fact that I'm turning into something I hate? There are a lot of men I've been with who've seen this part of me. The question is; would I ever stop?