Unwanted -- Tony Stark's Daughter

Chapter 13

I wake up, my head pounding. Fuck. I failed. My eyes try to adjust to the light, and... The light? It was dark in my room. Fuck.
Fuck.

My eyes finally adjust to the light and I notice I'm in the infirmary. Fuck. I fucked this up badly. I look around me and see Peter sleeping in a chair beside me. Peter. I hurt everyone so badly. Why would I do this? I should have cut deeper. Or maybe it was Peter who saved me. I did message him. I think he knew. I'm such a bad girlfriend. Oh god, I hope nobody found my letter yet. I think they might've found it already. I can feel my chest tightening and my throat closing up. Why am I like this? It feels like I can't breathe. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. It's almost like I can hear it too. Fuck. I'm connected to that stupid device, obviously. It starts beeping even faster and I can hear footsteps approaching. Of course they had to put an alarm on that fucking thing.
"Carmen?" I think my heart just stopped beating. I turn my head around a little bit too quickly and I can feel a muscle in my neck pulling. "Peter..? I-" I don't know what to say. There are so many things I want to say, but none of them leave my mouth. His eyes immediately water and he hugs me quickly. I scoot over so he can lay beside me. My heart breaks for him. He must've been so scared. My voice finally seems to be working again. "I'm sorry, Peter." He just hugs me tighter. "I was so worried you weren't gonna make it. I can't live without you." I think I might puke. Why am I like this? Why am I such a selfish bitch? A shiver climbs up my back and my throat closes up. "I-" Peter interrupts me. "You need help Carmen, professional help. You can't keep going like this. It won't stop." My eyes water and I start to panic a bit. "I can't. I have school, I can't just lose all my friends." Peter looks at me. "You'll never lose me Carmen. I'll always be here for you." I hug him. I'll get better. Not just for him, but for me. I never planned to live long, but I guess plans change. Peter deserves to be loved. I can't do that if I don't even love myself.

Dad walks in. "Carmen." I give him a sad smile. "I'm sorry dad. I- I never planned that- that you.." He just hugs me. "It's okay, baby. We'll talk later."
I finally felt wanted.

It's never too late to get help. Talk about it.
I've been clean for over a year. I never thought I'd live this long, but here we are. This story will always hold a special place in my heart. When I couldn't see myself living much longer, I decided to end the book with Carmen dying. Now, I felt the urge to change it. If I was going to live, so was she. It felt needed. I never expected this many people to read this, but I am so so thankful. Thank you<3