Time after time

You and I

Noah POV

Waking up for the second time this morning after a nightmare-free rest was a relief. The last 2 days have been draining physically, psychologically and emotionally. I'm not a person who has a facility in expressing my emotions. I prefer to wrap them tightly and bury them deep inside myself. But when I decided to let go of Elle... I was willing to put the axe in my most precious dreams. I remember when I came back from Hollywood signs after breaking up with Elle and was intercepted by my mother. The flood of tears when I told her everything and gave her the little leather box that I had dragged with me most of the summer and asked her to keep it away from me. It was torture, but deep down, I'd rather Elle be happy without me than unhappy with me...

When Lee told me that Elle had decided to go to Harvard anyway. I began to hope... Could I be lucky enough for Elle to be happy but with me? Before that happened, I had to get over my pride and ask her for forgiveness. I told her that if she came to Boston, it wasn't with me and that loving her wasn't enough! How I regretted saying that today!

Then yesterday when I arrived at the beach house, I was confronted with the effect I had on her! Yes, her father, Lee and even Linda didn't help but I couldn't help it, I had let her down when she needed me the most. Finding her alone wrapped in her mother's sweater, her cheeks smeared with tears and frozen, it was more than I could bear!

I looked down to look at the young woman now asleep in my arms and swore to myself that... I'm never going to even think about letting her go again. I can't imagine my life without her! In a few weeks, she will be leaving to join me in Boston and I could only be happy with this outcome. Of course, I would have liked the circumstances to be different: for Lee and Elle not to be in the middle of a quarrel and for Elle not to feel pushed out of her house by Linda. Secretly, I was hoping that today's Evans-Flynn lunch could clear up some of the misunderstanding in the air.

Elle moved gently in her sleep, snuggling closer to me! I enjoyed this moment by reminding myself of how much I missed her last year while I was in college, this summer while she was busy with Lee for the Bucket List, and even during the last 2 days when I thought I had lost her for good... maybe even forever. I let her sleep a little longer until we had only enough time to get ready before going to the restaurant for lunch to join the whole family.

- Shelly, we're going to have to get up to go to lunch," I said softly, stroking her hair.

- Oh no! " She said before sighing and huddling even tighter.

- Is something scary of you? " I asked, lifting her chin so that her eyes would meet mine.

- Several things! " She said, looking down.

- Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked, caressing her cheek.

She sighed before telling me:

- Lee will probably have a lot to say when he realizes that we're going to show up for lunch together. I assured him that if I was going to Boston, it would be without you!

- It wasn't a lie," I told her, sighing. "That's really what I told you! So, you can let me take care of Lee if the topic comes up!

- There's also the fact that we've come back together. My dad doesn't know we broke up and your parents don't know we got back together.

- In all honesty, my mom probably suspects it with her sixth sense and the expression on my face when I left the house yesterday at noon after finding out you were still going to Harvard.

- And I really don't want to hear Linda talk about moving in when I'm away for Boston.

- Do you feel like you're being pushed out?