Time after time

One step closer

Elle POV

The day before our wedding was a crazy day. I was caught in the middle of last minute details, fitting bridesmaids dresses, manicures, pedicures and meal changes like I was in a whirlwind. In the evening, my father, Linda, Brad and I had dinner just the 4 of us and I think it was the only quiet time I had all day. I got to know Linda over the summer. I was never a big fan of her between the fact that I had the impression that she took my mother's place and my place a little too... But, I came to realize and appreciate the light she brings into the lives of my father and my brother. She invested herself in my life as best she could. She accompanied me on several fittings for my wedding dress and passed on her passion for cooking to me. This is why, today I can consider her a bit part of my family. The 4 of us had a lovely evening together, telling each other family memories.

I was in the kitchen washing dishes after dinner with Linda when my father came in with an envelope in his hands. I knew what it contained! My mother wrote me a few letters before she died.

- I don't know if you want to read it tonight or tomorrow morning?" he said to me, handing me the letter.

- Probably, tonight! Tomorrow morning there will be a lot of things to do before the wedding. Do you mind if I go out and read it?

- No, Ellie Bears. It will probably do you good to take some time with your mother before the big day." my father told me.

I left the house and got behind the wheel of the car. What did I want to do? Go to the cemetery and sit on my mother's grave? I told myself that on the eve of my wedding, I wanted to remember my mother and not her death. I drove away and finally landed at the top of the hill with the letters Hollywood. I sat and looked at the city lights below, trying to breathe to relax. I was about to read my mother's letter when I heard footsteps behind me before I heard :

- I didn't think I'd find you here this evening?

- Noah, what are you doing here?

- I needed some time alone to think. My mother is so emotional and keeps saying she can't believe her baby is getting married. I needed some time to decant and you?

- My father gave me a letter from my mother. I needed some time alone to read what she wrote to me.

Noah then took out of his pocket an envelope just like mine with his name presumably written in my mother's handwriting. I couldn't believe it!

- My mother gave it to me this evening!" he said to me, keeping his eyes on the envelope. "She told me, Joni gave it to her and told her to give it to me the night before my wedding if they were right about you and me.

- So my mother guessed that we would end up together?

- I told her I loved you, Elle!" he said, looking into my eyes.

I was stunned! He never spoke to me about it. He sat next to me and hugged his knees to his chest as he looked at the lights in front of him.

- I got into the habit of going to see her in the hospital when I knew no one else was there. It was easier to talk to her about everything I was going through at high school rather than with my parents. A few weeks before she died, I arrived and she was asleep. I sat down and told her about you and how much I had feelings for you. And that I might never be able to tell you because of Lee. I never thought she heard me. When I saw the letter this evening, I knew! She had heard me, she knew it!

- I don't dare ask you what she said to you in the letter.

- She told me that from the day you were born she had doubts about you and me, when I came to see you in the hospital.

- Your mother told me that you completely ignored Lee and didn't want to touch him.

- But that I kept saying that you were my baby and that I was giving you kisses. My mother hasn't stopped telling me this story since we got together.

- It's still incredible to think that our story goes back to the very beginning of our lives.

- When I look at my life, I realize that I spent a lot of time waiting for this moment. Like when we were little and Lee pushed us away. When we were teenagers and I imagined that all the girls I kissed were you! Then we got a step closer when I was able to kiss you at the Kissing booth. Another step when you agreed to be with me. And finally when you accepted my marriage proposal and moved to Boston with me. Tomorrow I feel like it's the pinnacle of a lifetime.

- Aren't you afraid of being stuck with me for better or for worse?

- I can't imagine a world where you're not here, Elle!

I blushed at what he said to me as I replied :

- One of your best lines, Noah!

- I know, but it's the truth! I don't know what I would be if you hadn't forgiven me last year.

I sighed thinking about all the emotions we experienced at this time last year.

- What would have happened, Noah, if I hadn't decided to go to Harvard last year?

- I don't know. But I know that for my part, I just wanted to ask you to wait for me! Would we have stayed apart for a year and then I would have broken down and asked you to forgive me? Or would I have waited for you to finish your studies? Only one thing is certain, I would have waited for you, Elle!

My eyes watered at the thought of what might have happened if I hadn't chosen to go to Boston. Our path would have been different but I dare to believe that we would have found our way back to each other. Noah pulled me into his arms and the moment his lips touched mine we heard fireworks going off around us. It's stupid but I felt like my mother was celebrating alone with us from the afterlife...