Time after time

Calm down

Elle POV

At the end of October, midterms began to hit Noah and me, hard. Soccer and football season were at their peak. It had been several weeks in a row that either Noah or I had away games. The rest of the week we were deeply engaged in study. It's lucky that we live together because with separate dormitories like last year, I think we wouldn't have seen each other for several weeks. There were even a few nights that I went to bed before Noah returned from his study session. He has gotten into the habit of coming to tuck me in as soon as he gets home even if he doesn't necessarily go to bed at the same time as me. I admit that I always appreciated this moment when he comes into the room (even if often I had already started to doze) letting the heat of his body and his smell of lemongrass accompany me to sleep.

At the end of the week, I don't have a soccer game (woopi) so I'll be able to go see Noah's game which takes place at Harvard. It's going to be weird having this morning and tomorrow all day together, Noah and I.

When I got up this morning, I froze while undressing to take a shower. I stopped taking my pill Thursday morning. Normally, my period should have started yesterday. But this morning, it still hadn't started. A feeling of unease came over me at the prospect that... I could be pregnant. I was so preoccupied that I didn't hear Noah come into the bathroom until he waved his hand in front of my face.
- The earth calls Elle!

I looked at him and the smile he had on his face vanished.
- What's going on, Elle? You look like you've seen a ghost.
- Nothing!" I said to him as I turned around to get into the shower trying to hide my state of mind from my husband.
- Shelly!" he said to me, holding me. "I know you're lying to me. We told each other no more secrets, remember!
- It might be nothing!" I said to him, feeling a little stupid.

But Noah was right, no more secrets! Our relationship problems have always been worse when we don't trust each other. And if I'm pregnant, Noah is just as caught up in this situation as I am! We are married after all...but in my current situation I feel embarrassed to talk about the possibility.
- I stopped taking my pill on Thursday and normally I start my period the next day. But this morning, they still haven't started.
- You are late... by how long?" he asked me.
- 24 hours but I don't even have a stomach ache.

It seems like talking to Noah about it started to make it real for me. I don't even have any warning signs of my period, I don't even have a little stomach ache. That's when I started to feel the panic rising inside me...
- What are we going to do if I'm pregnant, Noah? I may not be able to finish my school year! I'm going to have to stop playing soccer and I'm going to lose my scholarship! Family is so far away! What will this mean for my studies and yours?
- Shelly...calm down!" Noah told me, taking my face in his hands to make me focus. "You're only 24 hours late and that can happen in a stressful time and it's midterm I'll point out. Let's not see a catastrophic scenario for the moment. We're going to spend the day and if tomorrow you haven't started your period, we're going to go buy a pregnancy test and we're going to do it together. And in the meantime, I forbid you from creating a bunch of catastrophic scenarios. We planned to take the weekend together and relax, the proof is that it will do us the greatest good.

I have rarely seen Noah so serious about me. It was in my interest to comply with his request. And indeed, it did me good. Noah and I haven't had much time together in the last few weeks and it seems like he's trying to make up for lost time. He came into the shower with me and told me it would take my mind off of thinking. He tried every way to tease me to keep me from running away in my head. After getting out of the shower, we made traditional Saturday morning waffles together with my favorite topping of whipped cream and strawberries.

When it was time for Noah to go to the stadium, I got a text from Abby saying she was inviting me over for lunch. Noah didn't seem surprised when I told him that I was accompanying him to the stadium where Abby had arranged to meet me. After leaving our men at the stadium, we went to the Swissbaker to treat ourselves to some pastries. It's been a while since Abby and I had some alone time. Most of the time we were with our guys or with the rest of the soccer team. Abby started telling me a hilarious story about the last date she had with Greg at a restaurant whose food was absolutely terrible. I laughed so hard until I realized I had eaten a lot of pastries. Am I already eating for two? Calm down, Elle! I said to myself, following my husband's recommendations.