Time after time

Bad Habits

Noah POV

Have I ever told you that I've been living a dream since Elle arrived at Harvard? Well, the difficulties started between me and Elle when...Bethany got sick! Lee's comments brought us together, but Bethany's illness pushed us apart.

Elle had been sleeping with me every night for a week, much to my joy, but when Bethany was hospitalized, I didn't see Elle for a week except during our psychology class. She was either in class, studying or taking care of her roommate. I was proud of how good Elle was at taking care of people and I know she will make a great healthcare professional but I missed her so much!

We had two weekends where we had away games so our weekend dates were impossible. I managed to convince her to come sleep with me on a Wednesday evening when her soccer practice ended early. I was so happy to be able to have her with me, I missed her so much. But when she came into my room that evening, I felt a bad vibe. She didn't look me in the eyes and seemed tense when I hugged her:
- What's going on, Elle?" I asked her, thinking in my head about what I could have done to make her angry.
- As if you didn't already know that?" she said to me, definitely irritated.
- Please Elle, line me up!" I asked her as I sat down on my bed.
- I spoke with your mother today!" Shit, Lee! I said to myself. "That's it, Noah! She told me that in the end, you broke the promise you made to me and that you called Lee without asking me first.
- But, Elle! My mom probably told you that after I talked to him, Lee decided to see a doctor and started seeing a therapist.
- That's not the question, Noah! You promised me you wouldn't do things behind my back! But you did the same, without telling me. I found out 2 weeks later from your mother!
- What is it that frustrates you so much, Elle?
- You took me out of the equation, Noah! You wanted to do things on your own like with many things concerning me.
- You can't deny that it didn't have positive effects, Elle!
- That's not the point, Noah! You should have told me about it before!

Then she left! I was completely distraught! I knew I made this decision without her but I really thought it was the best solution and my mother agreed! I left Elle decompressed, I knew there was no point chasing her. I called my mother seeking comfort. She told me that she felt Elle was stressed with school, soccer and her sick roommate. Her reaction was probably amplified by stress.

I tried my best to be as reasonable as possible in the situation but I felt like Elle and I were drifting apart and that...I couldn't afford that.

The situation escalated a few days later when while taking a shower after my gym session, I ran into Liam, the captain of the soccer team. He looked down at me and asked :
- What are you doing tonight, Flynn?
- To study! And you?
- I was invited by a group of pre-med students to serve as a model to help them study the anatomy of the musculoskeletal system.
- Charming!" I replied with a half-smile.
- Alyssa the girl who asked me to come told me that our little rocket would be there! And, there are rumors that there is trouble in paradise between you two! Maybe I'll convince her to look elsewhere...

My blood froze in my veins. In my state of mind, I didn't think for a single second, I pushed Liam into the wall before swinging my finger in his face :
- Don't go near her!
- And what's going to stop me, Flynn?
- You're going to have to go over my body first!" I said to him before quickly getting dressed and leaving the locker room.

I took my cell phone :
Noah : Where are you?
Elle : At the student coffee shop! For what?
Noah : Don't move! I'm coming!

I arrived at the student coffe shop as quickly as possible. Elle was there with a coffee and her anatomy book in front of her.
- Are you okay Noah? » she asked me as soon as I sat down next to her.
- No, weren't you supposed to be at a study group tonight?

She sighed before telling me :
- Alyssa asked Liam to come "pose" in his underwear so we could study with him as a model. I don't particularly like this guy's attitude. So, I preferred to pass.
- He told me that he had agreed to see you and hoped to seduce you. I flipped!
- Noah, what did you do?
- I just pushed him a little and threatened him not to come near you!
- Noah!! Not yet!
- What did you want me to do, Elle?
- Trust me! I agreed to marry you! I hope you don't think I'd leave you for an underwear splitter.
- I trust you, Elle! I just don't trust other guys!
- It's not true! We haven't yet had this same discussion!" She said putting her hands on her face.
- I'm sorry, Elle!" I told her, trying to put my arms around her.
- Maybe it's not the others that are the problem, Noah! We are the problem!
- What do you mean?
- That I need time to think about all this!" she said to me, taking her books and leaving me alone in the student coffee shop.

But what is happening to us? How, 3000 miles from home in a completely different environment and with completely different people, are we still experiencing the same difficulties? I tried to calm my heart but it was pretty heavy in the days that followed. Elle hadn't contacted me in 48 hours and I was trying to tell myself that I should give her time and space. I was at the library for a study session with Chloe when my phone lit up with a message :

Elle : We need to talk.

My heart froze! No one wants to be told, we have to talk! My eyes became watery and Chloe asked me :
- Are you okay Noah?
- I can't lose her, Chloe! » I told her, putting my hands on my face to hide the tears running down my cheeks.

Chloe put an arm around my shoulders and said :
- Elle told me about the difficulties you have had in the last few weeks, Noah. It's not what you think...