You've Only Just Arrived (a Tom Hiddleston fan fiction)

Part 61

You offer up the device to the slowly approaching Tom after ending the call with his mother. He doesn't want the phone back though, not just yet. He shakes his head in the negative as he stalls his steps, stopping just on the edge of the room, right where the hallway ends. That stings more than a little.

And is more than a little deserved.

His prodding, on top of that by the new psychiatrist - combined with the kid gloves used by friends, family, and coworkers - everything had contributed to your outburst. Ultimately, your inability to accept the help of others was the culprit. While your frustration over all of it boiled over, your fury directed at Tom, he had maintained his temper enough to mostly remove himself from the argument.

Tom has been doing his best to work through his own issues regarding the incident while also dealing with the poor attitude brought on by your issues as well. Whatever have you done to deserve his endless patience? His love?

Oh goody. Another massive wave of guilt. You run your thumb over the edge of his phone, not sure exactly what to do with it. If you keep it in your lap you'll be tempted to fiddle with it - and the last time you did that you accidentally took a screenshot of yourself, which somehow ended up as his lock-screen.

"I'm sorry, Tom..."

He has his arms folded across his chest, leaning against the hallway wall. "Hmm?"

You roll your eyes. You're trying to apologize and he's going to make it difficult? "Maybe you'd be able to hear me say I'm sorry and all the reasons why if you'd come a little closer."

The hint of a smile starts to show through the irritated expression held on his face. He tilts his head to the side slightly, "Maybe. I think I'll wait here a moment longer, just to be safe... So - enunciate."

You shift to set his phone on the table's edge, muttering under your breath, "Enunciate, he says."

"What was that?"

"You heard me." You make a face after hearing the tone attached to the three words that just came out of your mouth. Shaking your head, you settle back on the cushions again. "Ok," you breathe out before licking your lips - finally daring to look at Tom once more. "Trying that again. Thank you for trying to help me through this. Even while I'm making it difficult... And keeping our parents in the loop."

That nets you a small nod from him but he doesn't move otherwise.

"I know mine probably appreciate hearing more than the few details I've allowed them. But their end of the conversation is always along the lines of...."

No - no this is not about feeding your frustration, or venting, or complaining about circumstance. You're apologizing to Tom for your behavior. Again. Maybe this should be yet another thing you take time to focus on with your new psychiatrist - this pattern of trying to sabotage your relationship.

"You know it is ok to do more to call me on it when I lose my temper, right? More than just glare and hand me off to your mother to try to throw me off?" You frown and look back towards his phone, "I mean, it was unexpected to find her suddenly looking up at me... The surprise certainly knocked the words right out of me. But..."

"I'm learning which battles to pick."

"Tom..." It's easier to focus on his phone rather than watching to see his reaction to you telling him it's ok to shout right back. The corners of his screen cover are starting to show wear, the device mimicking its owner. As a result of your preoccupation you don't see him lift anchor from his location at the edge of the room and approach.