Unspoken words

Chapter 9

ugh.... so boring..
what a lame debate.

"to those who answered no, seat to the left and those who answered yes, to your right" sabi ni prof sa amin.

we're in the middle of a debate.

the topic is
Do you believe that the fruit is the same as the tree?

but we're not talking about trees here, we're talking about people.

and so i answered no.

ang lahat ay may kanya-kanyang pananaw sa usaping ito.

Some say yes.

that kids will adapt their parents manners over time. so basically they will grow just like their parents.

but i said no.
not all kids will walk with the same path with their parents.

"prof, kayo po? saan kayo sa no or sa yes?" biglang tanong ni brian kay prof.
napahawak si prof sa baba nito pero mukhang hindi naman ito nag-iisip, tila alam na nito kung saan sya mas sang-ayon.

"hmm, i'd say yes, i agree." sabi nito.
i feel i little bit dissapointed at his answers.

as a child, i never wanted to be like my parents.

but adults seem like they are not giving us a chance to at least think for our self or decide to be what we want to be.

"diba class? have you ever seen a mango tree with orange fruit?" tanong pa nya sa klasi trying to defend his choice.

"no" sabi naman ng iba kong kaklasi. i remain silent.

i can't agree to that!

yeah, it is applicable in trees but not in humans, not in people.

"hindi diba? dahil kung ano ang itinanim mo, yon din ang magiging bunga. that applies to people. kung paano mo pinalaki ang anak mo expected mo na ang magiging bunga. kung anong nakikita ng anak sa bahay yon ang dadalhin nila sa paglaki. yon ang maadapt nila."~no! i can't agree to that.

everyone just nod except i think only me.

"is that clear?" he asked after his take on this debate.

but instead of agreeing to what he said-
"NO!!" i shouted without even thinking!

what am i doing?

having everyone's eyes on me is the last thing i want to happen.

now, all eyes are on me including prof.

"what did you say?" he asked as if he misheard me.

what am i doing? Why did I shout that?

"u-uhm.. i said no, i can't agree with that" i firmly said..it's not the time to be shaken.

i have to stand with what i believe and not with what they want us to believe.

"and why is that?" i can see the disbelief in his face. he looked pissed.

"that only applies to trees, flowers and so on, but not in people" i said.

he crossed his arms and looked at me attentively, like he wanted to hear more about my thoughts.

"if you grew up with a thief parents, will you also be a thief? no! because you have your own brain, you can think and make a decision on what you want to be. you'll know what is wrong from right." i said. hindi ko namamalayan na nakatayo na pala ako while explaining.

napatingin ako sa nakaawang na bibig na si yuka.

"sir, is your father's  gay?" i asked.

"if what you said is right, then your father must be gay right?

i heard my classmates chukled leaving prof embarassed.
but i didn't mean to.
though
it's no secret that prof magalang is gay.

"if I grew up with a toxic family, wouldn't i want to change that and make things right? my mom is a friendly person like my dad,and that's totally opposite of me, so can you say why is that?" i asked.

everyone was staring at me in disbelief.

"enough!  you, what's your name again?" prof asked pointing at me.

"Charm sir" i replied.

"i want you to write your thoughts on this debate! everything! and gave it to me in my office" he said. i can see how mad he is.

"sir!" nagulat ako ng magtaas ng kamay si yuka.

"i agree with charm, should i write my thoughts too?" yuka said.
mas nandilim ang mukha ni prof sa sinabi ni yuka.

hindi pa man sya nakakasagot ay biglang nagtaas din ng kamay si lily.

"ako din sir!" tila batang ipinapakita ni lily kay prof ang kamay nito.

"what are you doing?" i whispered.

"i won't let you two fight alone! i'm with you!" bulong naman ni lily.

"ay! bobo! ginawang gyera!" bulong naman ni yuka na napahawak nalang sa sariling mukha.

nagulat pa ako nang makita kong isa-isang nagtaas ng kamay ang ibang kaklasi namin na nasa side ko..

"kami din sir!" sabay-sabay nilang sabi.

prof's angry face was shown all over his face.

"do what you want!" he shouted before he left the room.

"charm you're so cool kanina!" sabi ni PJ na nakaupo sa kabilang side.

"ofcourse! she's my bestfriend afterall" pagmamalaki naman ni lily na parang may naiambag sa buhay ko.

i stay silent and look at yuka.

"what?" i asked her she's been staring at me the whole time.

"that was good, but-" she didn't finished her sentece. its as if she's thinking about something but she can't voice it out.

"did i offend you?" i asked her.

i know my words earlier was a little bit homophobic.

and i know i hate gays.
but not as much as before.

before knowing yuka,

i can't think of a reason why do they have to like the same gender when it's forbidden.

what do they get from dating the same sex?

is it really love?

or just a lust?

like why?

they'll just wasting their time!
they can't never end up together.

is it just for fun?

they'll be just a laughingstock.

even if they do love each other, nobody gives a damn.

for others they are just making a sin.

but,

knowing yuka,

my belief is becoming meaningless.

parang unti-unti nyang sinasagot ang mga katanungan ko sa mga kagaya nya without actually saying it.

she's like introducing me to her world.

and it's not bad after all.

marami pa akong mga tanong tungkol sa kanila pero unlike before

i can understand them a lot better now.

and i want to understand and know more.

they're not bad after all.
they're also a human.

and that's what i learn.

"i'm sorry if i offended you" i said without even looking at her.

my pride is too high to even say sorry,
but why when it comes to her i forget about my pride?

"what? why are you apologizing?" she asked me.

"not telling" i said before I rested my head on my desk and closed my eyes.

that debate was tiring.

i have to restart my brain.