Heartbroken

Honesty

Stevie was still deciding if she was doing the right thing, the very same night. Of course she was, but it was hard for her to admit it. She got out of her car and went to the front door, rang the bell and waited. And waited, and waited. Empty driveway and no light in the house should have been enough of a clue nobody was home, but she tried anyway. She sighed, sitting in the driver's seat again. Maybe he'll come home soon? Yes, she could wait a little.

It couldn't have been an hour, when she caught his car with the corner of her eye and she climbed out, waiting for him. Her face fell, when she saw him with a huge bouquet of gorgeous red roses, he was probably seeing someone on the side, she thought. Of course she naturally wanted to disappear, but she knew she had to act like an adult for once.

"Stevie? What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. Although, I think I made a mistake."

"Why?"

"Don't pretend, Lindsey. The flowers? You're obviously going to meet with someone." She felt like such a fool. "And here I am, wanting to apologize..."

"You're right, I was on my way to see someone, but I forgot a few things and returned."

"You don't have to rub it in my face."

"I was going to see you. I wanted to apologize too."

Now she felt really stupid. "Oh..."

"Yeah." He stepped closer, holding out the roses. "As you might have figured, these are for you."

"It was my fault, that fight... I'm sorry, Lindsey."

"Will you take the fucking flowers already?"

Stevie bit on her lip not to laugh. "Thank you." She said, inhaling the smell. "Can we talk?"

"But maybe inside?" Lindsey was fishing for the keys in his pocket. He switched on the light and showed her to the living room, both silently realizing this was the first time she was in his house.

Stevie laid the bouquet on the coffee table and Lindsey opened his arms for her without question, holding her tightly. "We both didn't react well. I shouldn't have said that it's all up to me, because it's not. I care about your feelings too, Lindsey. You just caught me off guard with those questions and I became defensive." They sat down, facing each other. "And I'm so sorry for saying that we're not anything. That's a massive lie. You've made me so happy lately and how can I say it to you that we're not in a relationship? I wouldn't play this game again and I don't want to play with Alice's feelings either, because us together is all she wants. I don't want to hurt her or you, or myself. I do love you, Linds, you have to know that, despite everything I said earlier."

"I know. And I love you, too baby. But it's so hard trying to be your partner in this relationship, when you don't let me. I'm allowed to come over and spend time with you, kiss you goodbye, tell you I love you and then I'm going home again. I don't want to play games either. I understand why you have the power, I know I screwed up our marriage, but I honestly don't think we're going to work if only one of us is calling all the shots."

"You're absolutely right, that's why I'm here, saying I'm sorry. You know how hard that is for me to tell anyone... Especially you." She smiled a little, making him laugh with saying that. "And I'm sorry for knowing about the tour, but not saying anything until now."

"The second part of the argument is on me, Steph. When it comes to music you're able to do whatever you want with whoever you want, but please understand, that it's not easy, you know? You've dated Don... He might not even be attracted to you anymore, for all I know, but the thought still terrifies me. You'll be away from home, away from me, what if you get lonely? What if feelings resurface? What if the first thing he says to you is, Stevie, I'm so sorry for what I did, I'm still in love with you, let's get back together!"

Now Stevie had to laugh. "Linds, you've just described the most unrealistic scenario!"

"I'm just saying that I don't know what might happen when you leave, you can't be sure either."

"You have to trust me, that's all. Don't you think I'll be thinking the same? That, what if you went out with your friends, had one drink too much and a nice looking woman happened to pass you by..."

"I can do this only if I know you're committed to me. That you are mine. This is not about me being possessive and suffocating you with it. I simply have to know that you belong to me and I to you. That when you come home, you'll come back to me."

"Isn't it enough for you to know that I love you? And trust me enough not to do anything stupid?"

"Honestly? It isn't, Steph."

She exhaled deeply, trying to explain how she felt as well. "I'm afraid of opening up to you too soon. I'm afraid that you'll stop trying, once you have me. Yes, I admit it, I'm afraid of commitment, scared of committing to you."

"Do you truly believe that when I got yet another chance, after everything, that I would just start hoping things would work out on their own?"

"I hope not."

"We don't have to announce this to anyone, not even to our children, our families yet, just tell me, Steph. Tell me that you love me and that you're mine."

Stevie freed her hands from his grasp, running them through her hair, as she sat thinking. The silence was growing too heavy, but Lindsey wouldn't dare opening his mouth right now. She mumbled something out, but he didn't quite catch it as her palm was over her mouth. 

"What was that?"

"I love you, Lindsey..." She paused, looking at him. "And I'm yours."

Those words brought the biggest smile to his face and she couldn't resist it either. "That's all I'm asking of you."

"You better shut up and kiss me." Stevie said, fidgeting with her rings nervously. "That was a huge step for me, Lindsey."

"I know, I promise not to fuck it up." He swore and finally engaged her in that kiss.