Heartbroken

Heartache

Stevie barely had any sleep that night. She was too exhausted to keep her eyes open in the early hours of the morning, drifting off eventually. How on earth did she let it happen?! No, she didn't have sex with Don, but they kissed, they touched and explored each other, he almost brought her to... God, no... She couldn't think about it any longer. 

There was no show scheduled for the next day and Stevie couldn't have been happier. No way could she face Don right now or probably ever again. How were they going to finish the remaining six shows? They really screwed up, badly. Besides that, Lindsey was constantly on her mind. She knew the guilt would eat her up, she had to come clean about it, but how? How was she going to tell him what she did?

Her loyal assistant of years and years, came knocking on the door around 11am. The lack of sleep and a hangover, Stevie looked and felt like hell. Karen told her that too. 

"Thanks." She replied sarcastically, going straight back to bed.

"Are you okay?"

"No." Stevie's answer was short. "What do you want?"

"Nothing, I just came to check on you. The plane leaves at 8pm tonight, so you have the whole day to lay in bed."

"Good, I need that. Anything else?"

"No." Karen was worried. Stevie clearly didn't want to talk, she looked a mess and adding to the list the call she received from Lindsey at 6am? Something was up, but she wouldn't interfere. "Well, if you need me, give me a call."

Once Karen left, Stevie decided to call Lindsey, she couldn't delay this conversation, it would only make things worse. She waited for a long time, but he didn't pick up. Strange..., she thought. Maybe he was busy with something or maybe he was just locked up in his studio. She would try again later.

Somehow, Stevie had managed to fall asleep again. Annoying knocking on the door woke her up a few hours later and she almost didn't answer it, the bed feeling too good to get out of it. Anyway, she rolled out and walked across the room to open up. 

The second she saw Lindsey in the doorway, she was sure he knew already. But how? "Linds? What a surprise!"

"Cut the crap." He entered the suite, as she closed the door, hugging herself around the middle. "Why, Stevie? You swore to me I could trust you!"

"Lindsey, I'm so sorry... I don't know what happened to me!"

"Let me guess, you had one drink too many?"

"Well, yes. But it's the truth! I just got so drunk and didn't know what was going on!"

"Did you do it to get back at me?" He couldn't stand still, pacing around, making her nervous. 

"No! I would never do it out of revenge!"

"Did you want to show me how you felt?"

"Lindsey, no!" She repeated, but he wasn't hearing it.

"You told me time and time again, oh Lindsey, it's just ten shows, I'll be back home soon, Don isn't interested anymore, you don't have to worry!"

"Had I been sober, it would have never happened!"

"But it did." He spat angrily. "I'm still not good enough for you? What does it take, Stevie?"

"Don't say that! You're perfect to me!" She tried grabbing his hand, but he recoiled from her touch. "I can't tell you how sorry I am, I never meant to hurt you, Lindsey." She cried, looking at him as he seemed to be completely devastated.

"You never wanted to, but you did it anyway. You went on this stupid tour, you got away from me and one week in, you're fucking your ex."

"Wait..." Stevie frowned. "Fucking? I didn't sleep with Don, we didn't have sex."

"Don't lie to me even more."

"I'm not lying, Lindsey. How did you find out?"

"Don called me last night. He bragged to me how fucking fantastic you're in bed and you were next to him, exhausted. He also mentioned that I shouldn't be kissing your mouth, God knows what you've been using it for."

"That is a huge lie! Oh my God!" She was breathing heavily, ready to strangle Don to death. "You want to know what happened?"

"Tell me." Lindsey finally sat down, but he was nowhere to being calm.

"We had drinks, too many. Everyone left, Don took me to the rooftop, we... He said he wanted me, he began touching me and I... I kissed him. We went back to his room, we got in bed and... He was..."

"What was he doing? You better tell me everything."

"He was using his fingers, almost bringing me to an orgasm. But he stopped and he undressed, and we were this close to... You know... But I pushed him away, I told him that I can't do this, that I don't want this. He got really angry, but I just left. I guess, that's when you got the call."

Lindsey was trying to process everything. Of course he wanted to believe Stevie and not her ex boyfriend, who still obviously had a thing for her. "Is that really the truth? Because if you're lying, we're through for good."

Stevie knelt in front of him, taking his hands in hers, surprised he didn't pull away. "Lindsey, I swear to you. I'm completely guilt ridden as it is, I couldn't live with myself if I had actually had sex with him or anyone else for that matter." 

He was staring into her tear filled chocolate eyes, he believed her, but it didn't make it any less painful. "But I still don't understand why? Why did you let him get so far?"

"I don't know." She shrugged, hanging her head low. "Lindsey, I don't know. I blame it on the wine and on Don starting it. I know I should have backed away, but he... he knew the right thing to say, bringing up your infidelities... And I was missing you badly. I know it's just been a week, but I wanted you with me more than ever."

"Did you completely shut me out of your mind while kissing him? Letting him lay his hands on you? Did you suddenly forget all the things we talked about? How we would redesign our house? That we were going to search for a beach house, a place for us to get away? What we were going to do for your birthday and how we're going to celebrate Alice's a month after? That you were warming up to the idea of getting married to me again? Did all of that stopped mattering to you?"

"No! God, no..." She was sobbing, covering her face with her hands. "You must hate me."

"I don't hate you, Steph." He picked her up off the floor, making her sit next to him. "I love you, but... You hurt me. I know you didn't fuck up near as badly as I did, but it still hurts."

"I know, I'm sorry..."She apologized again, sniffling. 

"When do you leave today?"

"Karen said the flight is at 8pm." Lindsey nodded, taking note of it as he stood up and headed towards the door. "Are you coming back? Will I see you again later?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure."

"Lindsey, I'm sorry. Please, please try and forgive me."

He lingered for a moment and without saying anything else left.