Heartbroken

Silence

Lindsey woke up alone the next morning. It was barely after nine. He looked around, listening if maybe the water in the shower was running. He got up, stretching his muscles, as Stevie had slept through the night in the same position and he hadn't moved either. The door to the balcony was open and it was where he noticed her, leaning against the railing, staring into distance.

"Hey." Lindsey made himself known, but she didn't say anything. "I'm glad you slept." Silence. "You were exhausted." Nothing. "I'll make something for breakfast." Not one word. "Stevie, snap out of it!"

Lindsey didn't achieve any reaction with words, maybe if he got physical... last night he couldn't free himself from her grasp. Maybe that was what she needed, simply to feel someone close. He circled his arms around her waist, but she didn't show any signs that she wasn't just a statue. But he kept trying, caressing her, stroking her hair, kissing her... But the same blank expression stayed on her face.

"Tell me, how can I help?" Lindsey attempted to turn her around in his embrace, but she resisted, holding onto the railing. "I understand that no words are going to help, but Stevie, please... Don't leave us." He begged, openly crying again, pressing his front to her back. "The look on your mother's face as she tried and you refused to let her in would have torn your heart in two. Everyone is so worried about you, Steph. No parent should bury their child, but we can't change anything. We don't want to lose you too. So many people love you and it hurts them to see you fading away. Your parents, your brother, Alice, they all need you. Baby, I need you." He just kept on talking, admitting his feelings, something he had kept bottled up since their separation three years ago. "Say something, please!"

Eventually, Lindsey sighed in defeat, pulling away from her. "Okay. I'm going to leave you alone just like you repeatedly asked me yesterday. But know that if you decide you need me, I'm here, waiting for you."

He stepped back into the bedroom and went to splash some cold water onto his face. As he walked downstairs, he saw Lori, making breakfast in the kitchen, and Chris with Alice, watching TV in the living room. Lori was the first to notice Lindsey, dragging him away before Alice saw him too.

"You stayed? Oh my God, Lindsey, she let you stay?!"

He took a seat at the table, hardly controlling his emotions. "I insisted on staying. I told her I wouldn't go."

"Has she had any rest at all?"

"Actually, she slept the whole night, after begging me to hold her."

"And now? Is she still..."

"No. She's out on the balcony, emotionless, staring out into nothing." Lindsey took a second before he continued. "I pleaded with her for half an hour or more, just to show me she's still human. I talked to her, I kissed her, but she's just... she's there, but she's not."

"We can't leave her out there on her own, Lindsey! God knows what she might do!"

"I can't Lori, I... You go, okay? Please..."

"Of course." She nodded and went to Stevie.

Lindsey gathered himself and went to the living room. "What are you watching?"

"Daddy!" Alice shrieked, jumping on him, holding onto him tightly.

"Hey." He then shook hands with Stevie's brother, who wanted to ask about his sister, but there wasn't really any need to, as it was pretty obvious from taking one look at Lindsey.

"Is Mommy any better?"

"I wish I could say that she is, sweetheart..."

"I want to see her."

"Sure, she's in the bedroom. You can help Aunt Lori to try and get your mother to eat something."

Alice followed after Lori and started crying the second she walked through the door into the bedroom. Stevie now was sitting on the tiles, curled up in a ball, as Lori was kneeling in front of her, saying everything that came to mind, to bring Stevie out of this state. She had been failing so far.

"I think we should let your mother be, Alice." Lori said, stroking the girl's back, then pulled her in a hug. "She doesn't want to talk."

Alice went to Stevie, sitting on her heels, taking her mother's hands in hers. "I know that you're very upset, Mommy. It's okay if you don't want to talk to us or come down an be with us. I want you to know that I'm not angry with you that you're not saying anything or that you didn't braid my hair in the morning, Uncle Christopher did a pretty good job too! Though, it all went loose soon, before we arrived here." After a moment of silence, which was becoming unbearable to everyone, Alice added. "Be sad if you need to, Mommy, for as long as you want, but you have me, remember that, okay? And I'm not going back with Aunt Lori today, I'll be here, close to you, so if you need me, just tell me or come find me, okay?" She pulled Stevie in a hug. "I love you, Mommy."

"I love you, too baby." Stevie replied almost inaudibly, but it brought the biggest smile to Alice's face.

Lori took Alice by the hand and led her out of the room and to the living room, where Lindsey and Chris where. Lindsey noticed his daughter and gestured for her to join him on the couch. She did, wrapping her arms around his middle, laying her head on his chest. 

"Mommy said she loves me."

"Did she?" Lindsey asked, surprised. "Well, that is great! Did she say anything else?"

"No, but that was enough."

Lindsey pressed a kiss to her forehead, breathing a sigh of anything that was as close to relief as possible. This was good, considering, but he knew that a very long road lay ahead of them.

~

Thank you for your comments on the previous chapter. I definitely need reassurance on this story, because like some of you said this is dark and this is very sad. If you feel like you don't want to read it, at any point, please let me know.