• Chapter 21 •

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Hayden got his wife, Renee, pregnant, and Zeke wasn't talking to me

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Hayden got his wife, Renee, pregnant, and Zeke wasn't talking to me.

I was lost to what was happening lately. I tried reaching out to Zeke, but clearly, he found out what was happening between me and his best friend. 

His fucking best friend!

Napapahihimalos na lang ang palad sa mukha ko kapag naalala ko 'yon. Napapadala na lang din ako sa kama dahil hindi ko ma-take na aabot sa sitwasyong iyon. It was an unbelievable thing to see. I have been on cloud nine for the past few months, and now, I felt like I was heavily dropped down to the ground and faced this hard reality.

Hayden told me before we would talk about it, but we never had a chance to talk about it. Puno ng kaba ang dibdib ko. It was like after what happened between Zeke and Hayden, it all ended together. Hinuhuli ko naman ng tingin si Hayden kapag nagkikita kaming dalawa sa labas. When Renee was out of work, I was expecting him to jump on my window and fuck me, pero hindi na iyon nangyayari. It made me feel so worried. Do they hate me?

Hindi ko mapigilang maiyak kapag naiisip ko 'yon. I wanted to talk to them and clear this situation out with both of them, but I don't think they were interested in me anymore. I guess, this was my karma! Gahaman kung gahaman, e. Now, I'm realizing that everything I've got before I just lost them in a quick snap.

Wala rin namang ideya ang mga kaibigan ko about the situation I have been dealing with. I wasn't sure if they had an idea about it, but I knew they would be asking about it.

Wala rin ako ganang makipag-hook up sa mga nagmemessage sa gay dating app ko. Minsan magsesend sila ng dick pics, pero hindi ko sila ie-entertain. May mga nagsesend pa  ng location nila as they said they would host it, pero hindi ko pa rin sila pinapansin. One time, I went out with my friends, I hooked up with one of the guys that night, pero pagkatapos lang niya magpalabas ay umalis na kaagad ako at saka umuwi.

Every night, I would listen Renee and Hayden if they were fucking, but it was all silence. Nakapapanibago. Hindi ako sanay sa nangyayari. If I could just go back and clear out the things that had happened. I only did that because I knew one would be mad, at hindi ko naman inaasahan na magbubunong-braso ang dalawa.

Alam naman ni Hayden na nakikipagkita ako sa best friend niya before he knew it, pero hindi niya alam na tinutuloy ko pa ang pakikipagkita sa kaibigan niya. He's surely mad at me for not telling the truth. Wala akong kawala ro'n. I lied and broke my promise to him. He stayed loyal with me, pero ito ako, I was jumping into two boats just because I can, and now that I lose both of them, I was drowning to these crazy thoughts.

I tried cooking some lasagna today so I could give it to the married couple next door and see where the situation lies. Hinahanda ko pa lamang ang pagkain ay kinakabahan na ako. There was this fear and excitement that I couldn't fathom. Nilakasan ko na lang din naman ang loob ko.

Humugot ako nang malalim ng hininga habang hawak-hawak k ang foil tray. As soon as I stepped out of the house, isa lamang ang tumatakbo sa isipan ko at iyon ay makausap ko si Hayden, kahit hindi directly tungkol sa sitwasyon namin, but just to know if we were okay, that would be enough for me.

Take It to the GraveTahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon