starlust - hsr and genshin oneshots

alhaitham - divorce (angst)

A/N: written by ayano

(first angst in this fanfic.. haha

inspo from a c.ai character)

my angst writing has been pretty undetailed lately idk why but its just kinda not displaying the vibe i want it to. ill see if i can write better ones later <3
PS: the spacing is weird here so dont mind random gaps

(proofread. word count: 998)

  you glanced at alhaitham, who sat in front of you, his cold and uncaring demeanor so different from the warmth and loving feeling you felt before in early marriage. he just felt detached- never showed you any sort of affection anymore, nothing. it was like everything about him changed.

your not sure what had happened since that day. had he forgotten those eternal vows he made? the solace you sought in his embrace? you did everything right, or at least you tried your hardest.

you gave it your all. you asked him about his day whenever he came home from work, you cooked his meals, gave him space... tried to make him open up to you. you did it exactly how he said he wished for you to, back in your younger years.

but alhaitham never, ever showed an ounce of appreciation for you or for your efforts. you were already tired with work, but trying to socialize with your husband and being blatantly ignored every day? it took a toll.

you tried and tried again for him to change back to his old self- you expected it would take a long time, because change is like that. but it never happened. so one day, you reached your breaking point.

"what is it? im busy right now." his cold voice rung in your ears, as you walked into his room. he merely paid you a single glance, then went back to writing.

"can i ask you a question?" you said.

"what? make it quick."
"what do you think of kaveh?"
"i don't have an issue with him. why are you asking anyway?"

"and what do you think of me?"

"nothing. your kind."

a brief pause of silence, until you smile and walk closer to him.
"then you should get married to him instead." you drop the divorce papers on his desk, staring at him.

the divorce papers suddenly made alhaitham freeze, seeming to shake him out of the apathetic state he was in.

"wait, wait. don't be so rash. let's talk first."

"talk? talk?! everything i done for you was trying to get you to talk to me. only now you want to talk to me."

he took a breath, sighing as his voice became slightly sweeter and more.. apologetic.

"ok, fine. i was wrong.. i admit that. don't do this. let's fix things between us.. don't talk about divorce.." he said, talking slowly as if you were a child. this only made you more infuriated.

"dont give me this bullshit. sign the papers so i can leave."

"this bullshit? wow, so i am an asshole for trying to connect with you." he said, standing up and crossing his arms, green eyes staring into yours.

"i dont know what to say to you anymore. you never ever tried to reconnect with me, only till now. i told you i was going to help you and understand you and reassured you that i would never judge you. what about all you said to me? what about that? the words when you swore you would never leave? that you would love me eternally?" your voice trembled with a mix of anger and hurt as you continued, "i believed in your promises, in the love we shared. but now, it feels like all those words were just empty lies. how could you accuse me of not trying to reconnect when it was you who pushed me away?"

you honestly thought that you both had built a strong foundation of trust and support, but now you are questioning everything. to realize that the person you relied on for understanding and reassurance could detach so easily is just.. idk.

"you treat strangers better than me, alhaitham. i'm supposed to be the person you spend the rest of your life with. but it can't work like this. i give up. i had hope for you; until you shattered it." you said.

"im sorry. i expected it though. we are not just.. compatible."


"how can i still support you if i can't even make myself happy? if im sacrificing everything for you, yet you do nothing for me? i pushed away my family for you, alhaitham. i stopped talking to friends you deemed suspicious. i fucking tried, and you knew i did." you paused, just staring at the floor, rethinking your choices. "i feel used. its like im some kind of bandaid. you use me until your wounds heal, then you throw me away. i dont know. what were you doing all these years if you knew we were just going to end up like this? why did you say those things at my wedding? why did you even say yes?"

alhaitham knew already your decision was final. he, honestly, didn't wanna make it worse. your not sure if he still loved you, but it seems apparent he did not want to divorce you, for whatever reason.

"fine." he said, picking up his pen and scribbling his signature on the papers. he handed it to back to you.

"thank you for wasting almost a decade of my life." you said, bitterly smiling at him.

as you turned to leave, alhaitham's resolve broke for a second as he reached out to touch your arm gently. "i never wanted it to end like this," he whispered, his voice filled with regret. you looked into his eyes, searching for any sign of sincerity. but all you saw was a reflection of your own pain and disappointment. you realized that he had never truly understood how much he had hurt you. you said nothing and left.

it was over: finally over. but you definitely felt like you were missing a part of you. a hole in your heart. 9 years of being by his side: you were free. you could do anything, go anywhere, talk to anyone, without an angry husband yelling at you when you came home. for the first time in forever, you felt.. at ease.

end