starlust - hsr and genshin oneshots

kazuha- fear

A/N: written by Yuna

additional info: words in bold, italics, and has ( ~) in the front are lyrics from the song, and bold are random quotes I put in inspired by the song lyrics or are just straight-up random

Hello!!! Yuna here, I was listening to a song called Anti-romantic by TXT and read the English translations, and I thought maybe I could get inspired and whip up a little story, I apologize if it seems inaccurate, please write comments down below if you have any tips for improving this or have any suggestions! Thanks! Love you!!

~I don't know who loves me

And I don't care, it's a waste anyway

I'm a little scared of this romantic feeling

Ever since the day Kazuha confessed to you, you just... weren't the same

It's not that you didn't reciprocate his feelings; you were scared- terrified of committing to a relationship.

That bright vivid memory, Kazuha stood under a pretty autumn tree, leaves dropping gently towards the grassy floor, there he stood in all his glory, with the pink that dusted his cheeks, and a gentle alluring smile plastered on his face. If only it were a sweet memory you could cherish, why wasn't it one?

You wanted to trust Kazuha, you do because you know for a fact he is just- perfect and lovely. But simultaneously, you simply can't, due to how your mind tells you things.

What did you do? Just pretend it never happened. You know it was a terrible and rude move but- what could you do?

~Sweet and slightly bitter chocolate

The aftertaste of it is always the same

Like saddest movies

There are only tears around my eyes

You practically ghosted him, turning a blind eye towards his feelings towards you, but too conflicted, you didn't know what else you could have done. It wasn't long until the latter had spotted this behavior, as much as he was hurt and heartbroken, he was confused. Why would you do this?

Your eyes darted out the window of the cafe, lights flashing your eyes and you squinted, mind trailing off too far away.

What do I do? You would never stop pondering, you couldn't hide forever.

You feel a tap on your shoulder, eyes fluttering open as you regain your position on the coffee table, you turn slowly to glimpse at whoever tapped you and rub your eyes to rid of your distracting blurry vision.

Mouth agape, your eyes darted upon none other than Kazuha. This time with a somewhat concerned somewhat stern expression. "Could we talk?"

...

Now, the two of you walked side by side down the pavements where autumn leaves crunched and you stepped on them, keeping your eyes down on the floor out of guilt. Kazuha sighs and stops you after observing your actions, standing still now, face to face.

"Could you... Tell me what is bothering you?" Kazuha's lips curved down a little

How do you respond to that? Say you fear the concept of love, you'll sound stupid and unbelievable to others. Say you didn't know how to respond? You'll make yourself feel even more guilty and now you're just selfish.

Kazuha noticed the lack of response and carried on, not wanting to force anything out of you "I... Listen... I just-" even he was caught up in his own words, shaking his head.

You felt terrible, you wanted to avoid this- but why? Why were you like this? The more you tried neglecting your feelings, the stronger they became, if you liked him back, what is there to be scared of? Why are you like this?

"I- I know I love you" Kazuha spoke finally "If you don't feel the same... You shouldn't fear telling me, our friendship will still stand strong" he felt worried for you.

"I do like you- I-!... I just..." Your voice was shaky as it died down, you couldn't explain how you felt, how did things come to this? But suddenly- you knew why.

What he wants is romantic, you want that too

But just like how flowers bloom and fall

A fate such as that will circle your soul

Kazuha turns to you in shock- but more worry as he waits for more context.

His brow furrows as your words trail off, his expression softening but still concerned. He can hear your fear through your shaky voice, your eyes darting everywhere and avoiding his gaze. He let out a soft sigh at the sight as he strolled close to you, he only wanted you to be honest with your feelings.

Silence falls between you two. A soft breeze whooshed past the two of you, carrying leaves as the autumn breeze swept past your cheeks.

Kazuha closes the gap between you two with a gentle yet welcoming embrace, one that makes you feel safe and relieved, one that makes you feel the expense of home, holding you firmly and securely in his arms. "

"I know it's hard for you, I don't want you forcing anything out when you're struggling" His voice hushed as you stood there purely paralyzed.

"Take your time and tell me when you're ready." He pulled back from the lingering embrace you both shared, a small smile plastered on his face.

"I'll be here waiting"

~I want to run away, far away

My heart is already chasing after you

And burning with small embers

Suddenly tears rolled down your cheeks as your eyes were agape, holding onto him and grasping him tightly to pull him in for another embrace.

Those same arms wrapped around you gently as if you were as fragile as pieces of glass, whispering sweet reassuring words into your ear as you buried your face into the crook of his neck.

No matter how long it takes, no matter how far the run, I'll wait. Until the day the ashes of your heart bloom into blossom, and I'll be there holding your hand.

I love you,

So much.