"I know you feel the same for me, what I feel for you, stop feeding your little brain with lies and let your heart speak the truth"
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A story of contractual relationship but not the regular one where leads get into a c...
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What is this feeling I am failing to understand? I feel frustration, irritation, anger, jealousy and whatnot. Yes, I was jealous. I admit it, but why? Her and I are nothing even our relation is barely of friendship. So why I am not able to take it lightly and accept her being in a relationship with a man who is not me?
Every time I try to accept reality and just think about letting her go, I feel like someone is piercing a thousand of needles into my heart, and fuck, it hurts like hell.
Why I am not able to control my emotions today, which I have always been good at? Why don't I just feel happy in her happiness and forget about the delusional world I created in my head with her?
I am just tiring myself with these thoughts, which has no value now. Nothing can be done now. But still, this pang of regret will always linger in my heart. What if, just once, I had asked her to be mine? to be love of my life?
As I said, these thoughts have no value now. If I want to see her happy, I have to let her go of my thoughts. I cannot force her. I cannot just force my feelings on her. I need to remember that she is happy in her life, and I have to do the same with my life.
But the crucial thing here is 'was she really happy'? I have always admired her smile from afar, and I can very much distinguish between her real, carefree smile and the forced one, like she is trying to pretend so hard to show everyone that she is happy.
**Flashback**
I went back to where everyone one was sitting and sat beside Ethan, ignoring the space offered by Ella. To break through my muddled thoughts, I poured myself a drink and chugged it in one go.
Ethan was looking at me with a worried expression, but it felt like sympathy to me, and I hated it. I am not a weak person whom one can show sympathy to. I know how to control myself or my emotions. Ignoring him, I continued chugging the drink one after another.
I felt a hand stopping me from pouring an another drink I looked at him with a 'what is the matter' face.
"I know your mind is fucked up now, but you are making it so obvious." he spoke.
"And do you think I care?" I freed the grip of his hand and continued sipping my drink.
"Andrew, either stop drinking or let's leave." he said with an authoritative tone.
"Mind your tone, Ethan, and yes neither I am going to stop drinking nor leave." I spoke without glancing at him.
"So you want to create an another scene here?"
"I know how to control my emotions, so don't worry about me, and I want to meet her so called boyfriend too."
Our conversation interrupted with Aster's sweet voice.
"Everyone, this is Eric, my boyfriend, and Eric, this is our group." She started introducing everyone with her sweet voice, a warm smile plastered on her face. Everyone waved in her direction, maybe at the person standing beside her, but my eyes was all set on her, calculating her every movement.
