Say Yes

CHOICE

After Detra's visit, Harmony's energy was different. She was very quiet and only gave me one word answers.

A few times, she looked like she wanted to cry, so I asked her if she was okay or wanted to talk about how she was feeling.

Harmony would say she's fine and wants to go home. I didn't want to push the subject and let it be.

Once she was home, it was like she didn't know who I was. Her switch took me by surprise, and I wanted answers for her sudden change.

"Harmony, did I do something?"

"You need to move on and go be happy, Rowan."

I was confused. "What are you talking about?"

"We're not compatible and need to stop things before feelings develop."

I couldn't stop my laugh. "Not compatible? Yeah, okay."

"I'm serious, Rowan. We need to let go, so this doesn't go too far."

"It's too late for that, Bunny. I'm already in love with you."

"No, you're not. You're settling for me. Maybe you should work things out with Tara or Detra. They're more your speed."

I was starting to get annoyed. "Bullshit. Why the sudden change?"

Harmony got silent, looking away. I stood in front of her and turned her head towards me.

"Tell me, baby."

Her eyes looked down, trying to avoid mine. I wasn't letting up, though.

"Come on, Bunny...tell me."

Her eyes watered. "You and Detra!"

"What?"

"She said you weren't happy not being there with her, and you didn't disagree....I waited for you to."

Her tears now dropped. "You didn't say anything. Your silence was loud and clear."

I closed my eyes, realizing how bad that conversation looked. Me and Detra used to be lovers and became good friends. I had no feelings for her, nor did I want her.

"Baby, I don't want to be with her. You are who I want."

She crossed her arms. "Yeah, until she's around."

"Harmony, please."

"Just leave, Rowan. I need some time to get my life together anyway. My life's a shit show."

"Is that what you really want?"

I went to wipe her tears, and she backed away...her reaction hurt. It's like she hated me.

"Yes, I'm not good for anyone right now. I'm not in a good head space and need to focus on getting better."

Since we've been together, she's been going through a lot. Losing her job must have been the final straw. Harmony took pride in being a social worker.

I knew me doing the opposite of what she asked would only upset her more. This fucking sucked but I will do anything to make Harmony happy even if its me walking out of her life for a while.

"Okay, fine."

I kissed her forehead then left. I'll give her space but I will be back.

***

Watching Rowan walk out the door tore me up inside. Once he closed the door behind him, I sobbed like a baby. I knew I was going to painfully miss him.

He's probably going to move on with someone way better than me, who can give what he wants and deserves.