To Be, Or Not To Be|| SPY X FAMILY

Anya|| Hamburgers and The Prime Minister's letter

"Oh my! It's so lovely seeing you two again!" Mama beamed at the both of us. For her sake, Uncle Yuri and I tried our best to make an impression which didn't make her suspect our relationship. We both tried (and I knew Uncle Yuri put more effort into this than I did) our best to not bicker whilst around her.

"Do you need help, sister dearest?" Uncle Yuri asked with an affectionate expression on his face. He really needed to work on his odd attachment issues. "Oh no! Honestly, it's fine, you two please sit comfortably, I'm almost done preparing dinner..." Her smile was so radiant, it blinded both Uncle Yuri and I.

My mama is the most lovely and supporting woman on this planet. Both of us have this experience with her. Her beautiful smile, her messy efforts and her optimistic attitude conveys it all. After he left, she always made sure to let me know that she was still there and it was because of that, even when the house felt deprived of a third person, I barely felt empty. 

I truly love her. However, we all know that we, as humans, are complex creatures with different personalities and differently wired brains-Okay, let me cut straight to the chase: I dreaded mama's cooking, it hadn't improved overtime.

As SSS agents, we were provided with supplements and an excessive amount of training in case of poison intake. I remembered having poison each day to build my immunity against it, that's how it'd work and that was the only way I was able to get through this dinner. As for before that rigorous training... I have no idea how I was able to make it through dinner... alive.

Uncle Yuri had never complained though. Never. Even when I'd read his mind, the only thing he'd been thinking about was:
My beautiful, smart, exquisite, caring, kind and understanding sister made this- It's as amazing as her- I love it! It's better than my own cooking, my dear sister's outdone herself once more!

Well... I mean, he was awfully... clingy.

"..."

"So, Anya... did you receive those documents sent by the Prime Minister?" Uncle Yuri decided to strike up a conversation.
(Mouths: Did you find out what Lester Barnes was up to?)
"Oh... yeah... he uh... loves.. Hamburgers..." I replied.

"..."

"What?" He shot me a confused look.

I shrugged, "Yeah, he loves hamburgers..." He's innocent, Uncle, that's what I'm trying to convey!

It wasn't my fault I wasn't able to reply back properly. Was there really a need to talk about work anyway? I shot Uncle Yuri a glare. He glared back more fiercely, okay, this man had both a sister complex and was competitive... In a very unhealthy way.

This was a technique WISE would use to convey their messages, in order to be successful with this, you needed to first master ventriloquism, secondly learn to use the lips and mouth muscles separately and thirdly, learn to lip read. Truthfully, I hadn't even bothered to learn this technique. The only reason I understood what he's saying is because I can read minds.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Dear God, I know I say I don't believe in god, but please 'Oh Heavenly Father', save me from... burnt... meat. Amen.

"Oh, this is so lovely, It's been so long since I've seen the both of you!" Mama smiled as she squeezed my hand affectionately. "Yeah, We've been really busy with work," I replied nervously. "Oh, about work-" She said, with a more serious expression, "What was the whole 'Hamburgers and Prime minister's letter' about?"

Uncle Yuri who had practically been snarfing down the weird food freezes and glanced at me. He shot me a look which clearly said 'You tell her something...', geez, he had a lack of imagination. "Uh- w-well, you see, Mama, The Prime Minister-wrote to Uncle Yuri, on the pretext of the hamburgers that-Uh-Had arrived from-Um... Outside... so you see..." I glanced at both of them (Who were gazing back intently) awkwardly before continuing, I no longer stuttered as I spoke.

More confidently, I babbled on "...The Prime minister sent Uncle Yuri a letter to inspect the Hamburgers (Because he is a diplomat at the foreign ministry) and make sure they weren't poisoned, because the Prime minister loves hamburgers, and the last time he ate them, they had been poisoned!... Yeah..."

"Oh dear! Hopefully the burgers were safe!" Mama sighed. Uncle Yuri turned to me with a look of disbelief. Oh well, at least she believed her, I don't want my dear sister to get into trouble by finding out about our identities. That right there, was a close call, brat, close call.

I wanted to punch him. Who was he calling 'brat'? "How infuriating..." I muttered.
"Hm?"
"Oh, nothing." I forced a smile.

I now stared at my dinner.

"..."

The smell was interesting. The meat wasn't charred... it was more burnt than charred. Oh well. I inhaled the fumes from the weird sloppy thing and almost gagged. So this is how I die. I turned to look at Uncle Yuri who's happily and greedily eating everything making small remarks like' 'Oh it's amazing' and 'My sister is the best cook ever!' and even 'It's better than my cooking, really'.

"Oh Yuri, you flatter me, really..." Mama chuckled, "Anya, is everything okay?", I almost choked on my food. "I'm fine..." I mumble, gulping the food and trying to ignore the putrid smell.

"You've been awfully quiet..." She said, her voice laced with a hint of concern,

"I'm... okay..." I tried so hard not to gag. I wanted my death to be quick and painless, not slow and painful. Well, we never get what we want in life anyways.

I reluctantly opened my mouth and brought my fork close to my mouth, the stench was unbearable, I quickly put it into my mouth. Endure it Anya, Endure, Endure, Endure-

Five minutes later, I lay motionless and I could hear mama's muffled screams and Uncle Yuri's internal cackling. Screw you, Uncle Yuri.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Okay, I'm still alive.