Summer Lovin'

6-Anxiety

The beach house was in shambles. Kathrine was coming today and my mom was being a maniac. "Make sure the bathrooms are clean Kamden." "They are, I cleaned them." "Kirsten go check." "Mom why are you freaking out? It's just Kathrine." I asked. "Kirsten please go check the bathrooms" I walked upstairs and straight past the bathroom to my room. Kamden had followed me. "What the hell is happening" "Mom's lost her mind" He sat down next to me on my bed, "I'm so over cleaning" he groaned. A couple minutes late my mom was yelling up to us, "She's here, come downstairs!" 

When Kathrine comes around my mom is incredibly fake. Ever since she left for college my mom has made it her mission to show her that our family is perfect, even though she also lived with us. I don't know, it's so weird. 

We were eating dinner and it was just my mom and Kathrine talking. It was torture having to sit here and listen to both of them. "So, why are you only staying a couple days?" Kamden asked bringing them out of their conversation. "I have a job down there, but I'll be back for the 4th." she said properly. "Hey I have a job too" I said thinking I could relate to her. "Oh, Kirsten you're just a lifeguard, Kathrine has an actual job." "I think being a lifeguard is an actual job" I said under my breath. MY mom flashed me a look "Your sister works in a doctors office." "Oh...wow that is cool" I said sarcastically. "Kirsten" my mom snapped at me. I stayed quiet the rest of dinner, it is not worth the fight. 

Later that night I was texting Jeremiah. I loved when his name popped up on my phone. I'm not sure why but my heart skips a beat each time he texts me. 

Jere: "Hey I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight:)" 

Kirsten: "Goodnight!" 

I smiled stupidly at my phone. What is happening to me this summer? Well if he's going to bed I might as well too. I walked to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Kathrine was already in there doing her skincare for the night. "Hey" I said, "Hi" she responded. It was quiet between us, it wasn't until I was about to leave when she said, "You need to be nicer to mom," "I will when she is to me" "You know she doesn't mean it" "I find that hard to believe" "Kirsten, she's just trying her best" 

This comment made me infuriated. She doesn't get to invalidate me like that. "So am I?" "I'm not saying that" "Sounds like you were" "I'm just saying be nicer to her, it's not that hard." "Sorry we can't all be perfect like you" I attempted to walk out of the bathroom,"Dad would be disappointed in you" she said which stopped me in my tracks. "You don't get to say that to me" she just stared at me, "Fuck you" I said walking out.

 I all of a sudden felt light headed, my heart was beating out of my chest. "You're such a brat!" Kathrine yelled down the hallway at me. My breathing started to quicken. This was classic Kathrine, being mean and thinking she is better than everybody. I walked downstairs to find my mom in the kitchen. "Why are you two yelling up there, I thought I told you no fighting." I didn't say anything and walked out our back door. 

When my toes reached the sand I fell to the ground, my chest felt so heavy and I could barely breathe. Tears were streaming down my face, I was having a panic attack. I get them sometimes. They started shortly after my dad died. I used to get them everyday but they eventually leveled out, this is the first one I've had in months. I noticed they happen when my dad gets mentioned. 

Once I felt like I could stand up again, I found myself walking towards the dock. When I got closer I noticed someone was sitting on the bench. I debated turning around but it was too late. "Hey," it was Conrad. "Hey" I said walking closer. "What are you doing here?" I asked. "Just came here to think" I took a seat on the bench across from him. "Sorry about the party the other night" he apologized. "It's okay" "I just feel like I need to be protective over Belly" "No, I get it" He shot me a small smile, "So what brings you here?" "My family sucks" 

It became quiet, except for the ocean. It was peaceful even in the presence of Conrad. "So, how have you been?" he asked, it took me a moment to respond because I didn't really want to talk. "I've been alright, what about you?" "Alright" he paused, "I think something is wrong with my mom." This caught my attention, "What?" "She's been taking more naps recently and I overheard her and Laurel talking about going to the doctors next week." A pit formed in my stomach, "I'm sure she's okay" "Hopefully" My mind started racing thinking of all the possibilities. "Jere doesn't know anything so, don't tell him" Conrad finished, "I won't say anything" I said, then me and Conrad sat and silence. 

A/N: Short chapter but I will release the next one soon!