Forgiving My Mate

Chapter 14: PTSD

Fear.

I am afraid of heights, large dogs, and food poisoning. I was living life fine with these fears. Sure, I was uncomfortable around them, but I managed just fine to stay clear of them. My fear of heights started when I was six. I dived off the highest diving board into the pool. I was so confident at the time despite just learning the skill that day. I somehow face-planted, and my nose was bleeding. I was rushed to the hospital because my nose was broken in two places.

My mom let me walk around the neighborhood when I was eight and I felt so independent. About a block away from my house, a giant dog charged at me. I tried running in my flip-flops, but the dog caught up to me with ease. It bit my legs and the owners finally caught up to the dog. I picked myself off the sidewalk and hastily walked home.

I was food poisoned when I was fifteen. I vomited like ten times in a single day! I was so miserable for several days and felt like I was dying. I obviously didn't die.

Lance kept coming into my mind and I couldn't escape him.

I had a nightmare about Lance and in the nightmare, I had met with him in a coffee shop. Lance smiled at me and leaned in to kiss me. I closed my eyes in anticipation and then Lance ripped my head off with his razor-sharp teeth. There was a horrible cackle and someone that looked like me stomped on the remains of my body.

I tried shaking the nightmare away and walked into the bathroom. I freshened up and applied some concealer to hide the intense dark circles under my eyes.

I sighed and grabbed some Lucky Charms from the shelf. I sat on the couch and started pulling the marshmallows out of the box to eat. I cradled myself and leaned back into the cushions. I couldn't seem to focus on anything else.

Knock. Knock. The clock said it was now 8 AM. Where did the time go? That clock must be broken.

I jolted up and defensively grabbed the cereal box. I slowly walked to the door and opened it hastily.

"Hi, Laura. I'm just here to check on you. Your father said you were awake," the pack doctor announced and moved past me into my room.

I was shaking uncontrollably and hastily looked around the room to make sure nothing came in with him. The doctor was sitting on the couch and eyeing the room. I was usually fine, but I felt very uncomfortable around him.

"You have a lovely room. Did you sleep well?" he asked, and I timidly nodded. I hesitantly sat on the couch next to him and rested the Lucky Charms next to me.

"Splendid. I am here to check your wounds and make sure you are fine," he disclosed. He pulled out a first aid kit and checked my vitals. He then checked on my injuries and nodded in approval.

He reached over to the first aid kit, but it slipped from his hands and made a loud 'thud' as it hit the ground. I jumped and darted out of my room.

Another wave of panic hit me, and I tried to calm my breathing. I am going to be okay. Don't let this panic attack boss you around. I dazed off and let my thoughts go on a rampage.

"Laura?" I looked at him and he seemed really concerned. Had he been calling my name for a while? I went back to my thoughts and zoned out.

"Laura?" he implored and grabbed my hand. I shoved him off unconsciously and growled.

"Laura, focus on me," he continued and patiently waited. I didn't realize that my vision was blurred, and I started freaking out.

"It's okay. Take deep breaths and try again."

I did as he instructed, and I was able to clearly see the pack doctor's puzzled face.

"How long have you been feeling this way?" I gulped and looked at my hands.