One Day At A Time | sansang

18. longing

It'd been several weeks since San was hospitalised. He returned to work at the flower shop with Yunho.

Him and Yeosang weren't speaking to each other; his worst fear.

He did everything he could to understand his feelings. Was he in love with Yeosang? Yes his heart fluttered everytime he heard his voice, yes he yearned for Yeosang to touch him, he checked all the boxes. But, towards a guy? That didn't make sense to him. All his life he was attracted to girls, that's how he got married and had Rina in the first place. Now suddenly he's into boys too? There was no way...

And if they did get together, what, Rina would have two dads like in the dream he had? Was she even okay with that? People were gonna make fun of her even more. People at home were gonna disown him for his actions. Going out with a boy was like cheating on his ex wife. But then again, what's in the past is in the past. He needed to move on, find someone else, live his life.

"I think I'm bisexual," San voiced out in the middle of work.

Yunho choked on his water, coughing violently. "You're only realising it now? It's been weeks!"

He gulped, saying: "sorry...I'm just scared."

"San, it's okay, don't be. There's still time. If you really like him you need to tell him." Yunho encouraged, without even giving a name. They started referring to Yeosang solely as 'him'.

_________________________________________

San boarded the bus, put his earplugs in to listen to some soothing music, and rested his head against the window. He was on his way to the bakery, to see him. He looked at his watch: 7.45pm.
Just in time, his work shift should be ending soon. (Rina was with Yunho at the flower shop)

When he alighted the bus, that's when he felt the tightness in his chest. He placed a hand over his heart to feel it beat, it was irregular but pumping fast.

He drifted into the mall, the cool breeze from the aircon whooshing past him, making his hair stand on its ends. Step by step, he approached the bakery. The heavenly smell of bread soon overwhelmed his senses. This was it.

He looked over the display stand, then at the counter, and tip-toed to catch a glimpse of the room at the back of the bakery.

The long haired boy wasn't there.

San began to panic. Did he stop working here knowing San could easily find him? Maybe he left early? Why though? If so, where did he go?

"San."

He whipped around. He was standing a short distance away; hair let down, two curled strands dangling over each side, framing his perfect face, wearing a beige cardigan sweater and jeans, sling bag over his shoulders.

He looked gorgeous.

"Yeo-Yeosang..."

The boy grabbed San's wrist and pulled him out the exit.

Once they were in a quieter place, Yeosang closed the gap between them.

"Wa-wait," San said, pressing his hand on Yeosang as he took small steps backwards.

"Hear me out."