dt: gisellelewinsky
BGK
NY
JUN. 12
"It doesn't matter what time of day it is, where I just came from, what I have on my mind. She doesn't care. That damn woman will argue about whatever she has in her head that day," David and the rest of my co-workers were complaining about their spouses, again.
I lifted my head for a quick second. I'd heard this conversation plenty of times, multiple times a week. It seemed like they never got tired of embarrassing their spouses like this. Maybe they didn't look at it that way.
I had learned that even walking away from the conversation wouldn't stop me from hearing their madness. I vowed that I would never speak about my wife the way they did. I understood frustration, but they spoke like their spouses were strangers on the street.
"Same," Savannah blew her breath in frustration, "He comes up here and does the absolute most. Y'all seen it. Then he wonders why I come home and I don't wanna speak to him. And then by the end of the night, when I was trying not to argue, we end up fucking arguing."
I wanted to ask if they'd ever gone home to peace.
Still, I tried my best not to judge. I remembered the stage of my marriage where Onika could not stop arguing. We argued so much that it felt like we hated each other. It felt like we were on the verge of divorce. It got so bad that she'd picked up and left for a few months.
Even then, I had never and would never talk about my wife the way they were speaking about theirs.
David shook his head to agree. "That's why I spend more time here than I do at home."
"You do know how to run up a clock."
"My wife thinks so too."
Hearing them made me use my phone for something more than just aimless scrolling. I opened up my wife's message thread and frowned at the fact that I hadn't texted my wife since Thursday. It was Monday.
But I had seen my wife since Thursday. I had spoken to my wife since Thursday. Plus, our twins had us communicating through them.
It sounded like I was making excuses, but it was the truth.
I texted her, I miss you ~ 4:47 P.M.
Almost immediately, she replied, Really? ~ 4:47 P.M.
Wym really? Is that hard to believe? ~ 4:48 P.M.
No. I just saw you this morning ~ 4:49 P.M.
In passing. ~4:49 P.M.
You kissed me. 4:49 P.M.
I miss you baby. 4:49 P.M.
I knew she was confused. She was right. I had seen her this morning. I had kissed her this morning, but the way that my co-workers were speaking made me appreciative of my wife and my family.
I sent her a second message.
We've been going through the motions. Work, kids, everything. You feel that? ~ 4:53 P.M.
Yes ~ 4:53 P.M.
I could practically see her nodding.
I love you. I don't think we've said that in a minute. We just assume that it's implied. ~ 4:53 P.M.
I love you too baby. I wish you were home with me and we could have this conversation face to face. ~ 4:54 P.M.
I grinned too wide. Twenty years with this woman, I knew exactly what that meant, and although it had been too long, I knew her. We hadn't touched one another or even spoken about touching one another in... I didn't know how long. We were going through the motions, just living and working. We just didn't have time like we used to.
