not done, but while im in BT🤷🏽. collab w/ remybx
I hummed along to Beyoncé's beautiful voice over the surround speakers in her beautiful kitchen inside of her beautiful home. I'd opened the curtains to all of the floor to ceiling windows, the natural light rushing in and illuminating the entire house. With the windows so open, I could see just about every acre that surrounded Beyoncé's home.
Now and only now did I feel like I was the only woman in Beyoncé's life.
I attempted to put those thoughts behind me, but once these thoughts invaded my mind, it took a lot for them to disappear.
I prided myself on being able to be mature and levelheaded about things, usually. Though I had no experience of being in the limelight, I knew the caliber of woman Beyoncé was. The distinction she held against the masses. I'd learned what came with that life through her, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
She was a woman that held power in more ways than one.
Specifically power over women that would give anything for the spot I had, a lush life in the hills, put up so well I could never want for anything.
I had everything I could ever imagine, and if there was anything I could think to want, it'd take no less than a phone call for the request to be granted.
That didn't appease me though.
Not in the slightest, not when women were still being gifted with jewels by her, thus allowing them to think they had some position in her life on the same level as mine.
The disrespect was at an all time high. They knew who I was, they just didn't care. I couldn't blame that on them entirely though. Beyoncé's entertainment of these women fueled their blatant disrespect.
I found it funny that their boldness, or lack thereof, almost never seemed to touch me. It was the late night calls to her phone when they knew she was in bed with me. It was them inviting themselves into her section and only acknowledging her, even though I would always be right there next to her. It was them selling fake stories to any tabloid that would take them, coming up with the most outlandish lies I'd ever heard of.
I knew about these women when we got together in the beginning, but there weren't so many then. She was at the peak of her career and she was everywhere. I knew how all of this worked, but I hated it sometimes. Hearing about other women and seeing them made me never want to see Beyoncé's face again. But I was 100% sure that Beyoncé was my soulmate. Even if sometimes she fed strays. She was honest with me, and I respected honesty.
She was young, powerful, and famous as fuck. The lifestyle she was apart of came with other women and she had always had a wandering eye. I didn't know the specifics of what happened when she was with them. I just knew that I was first, and everybody wanted to be first.
Then she came home, and I completely forgot about all of it. She made love to me with so much longing in her loins, so much yearning in her soul. We were deep in love, and the passion was palpable.
I was waiting impatiently for her to come home today. I hadn't seen her in over a month, and I could only imagine how many gifts she'd bought for other women. I assumed there were a lot more than what I'd seen on Instagram.
I ignored those feelings and called. I didn't know where she was, but I needed her to hurry. When she picked up, the music was louder than her voice, completely drowning her out. I stayed on the line quietly until I heard a door close and the music became muffled.
"I was waiting on your call." Her voice was more hoarse than usual, either from exhaustion or the nightly clubbing she was known for.
I wanted to be angry with her but my heart just wouldn't let me. I knew who she was, I knew what this life came with, but she loved me beyond words. She was a different woman when she was with me or when she spoke to me. Nobody saw her the way I did.
