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waxed.
the assistant.
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WAXED.
bgk.
june third.
htx.
"You really need to shave that shit."
I snatched my pants back up and turned toward the door where Michelle and Kelly were standing with looks of disapproval on their faces.
"Damn you hoes could knock."
"You're focused on the wrong thing. Why do you have your unshaved dick out in the middle of the living room?"
"In the middle of my living room you mean?"
"And why is it unshaved?" Michelle said as they came in from the front porch, slamming my door behind them. "The women you fuck like to pull pubic hairs out of their teeth when they suck that thing?"
"Kelly get her."
"No I'm with her. Answer the question."
"They're not pulling hairs out of their teeth."
"I beg to differ. Did you see that forest?"
"We need to start a fire to burn down all that debris."
They were laughing like a bunch of fucking idiots, making more jokes until they were bent over, laughing at my expense in my damn house.
"Y'all can actually get out. I don't know how or why y'all are even here."
"Ooh," Michelle stood back up, "I told you I have a wax girl."
"She do dicks?"
"How would I know? I don't have a dick."
"How the hell you gon' recommend somebody to me and you don't even know if she does what I need her to do?"
"She's a waxer, idiot. She waxes. I'm sure she does dicks."
I wouldn't even be asking Michelle for her wax lady, but mine wanted to go out of town without telling anybody. When my hair finally grew to the point where she could wax me, I hit her up and she was gone. She said she would be back soon, but I needed her now. I had plans for tonight that I needed to be bare for.
"Will she do it on short notice?"
"You willing to pay for it?"
"Yeah."
She nodded while texting on her phone.
"That shit is crazy Beyoncé," Kelly crossed her arms over her chest, "Don't show nobody that until you get a weed wacker or something."
"It's not that deep."
"Oh it is. We gon' have to do a post appointment evaluation for Michelle's girl."
"Kelly shut up."
Michelle looked up from her phone, "She said she'll do it but she's gonna charge you."
"Whatever she charges, pay it Bey. You need it. No money is too much money," Kelly raised her hands like she was in church.
"I'm too close to choking you Kelendria. Shut up. Tell her I'll pay Chelle."
