Look For The Light | Ellie Williams

XI

i care about you a lot more than our circumstances allow me to.

*•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•*

  Later in the evening, Auburn skipped out on dinner once again and just sat in her and Ellie's shared room.

  She was sitting on the floor, trying to open the cork to a pain relief medicine. She was leaning on the wall, knees up with the small vial between her knees as she attempted to open the cork with her left hand.

  She popped the cork open and downed the contents before going to the bathroom.

  The potion didn't do shit.

  The pain was still roaring, but she honestly got used to the pain.

  Yes, it hurts, it hurts like fucking hell, but she's used to it by this point.

  She looked at herself in the mirror, her scar across her face as the brim of her eyes were red from crying. She looked down at her hand and unwrapped it, both hands shaking in the process.
Her eyes watered at the sight of her literal broken hand. It was still horribly bruised, almost black. It swelled just a little bit from the collision of her hand and the mat earlier during training.

  She saw little blood specks in the large bruise.

  Her bones felt, well, they felt shattered. The healing process was awfully slow. Her fingers were spasming as she inhaled a shuddering breath.

  She was scared, really fucking scared.

  The days went on and her hand was only looking worse. She would have zero chance of getting past the first task if her hand was broken and fucked up.

  She'd die.

  Her opponent would take advantage of her weakness and kill her. She didn't realize, but she was sobbing.

  Very hard quite frankly.

  She wrapped her hand back up, tears streaming down her face in the process before she walked out of the bathroom. Her eyes snapped up to see the Ellie was now laying in her bed. She quickly wiped her tears with her shaking hand, but they just kept coming. Her chest was stuttering from how hard she was sobbing as she tried to climb the ladder to her bed, but she couldn't.

  She told herself to breathe, forced herself to breathe.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

But she couldn't.

  It sounded more as a breathless wheeze as she struggled to even inhale as she choked on her sob. Her chest was heaving violently and she was still struggling to breathe.

  She felt like someone blocked her airway, like there was no other way for her to inhale oxygen.
Her hands were shaking as she tried to calm herself, but she couldn't.

  She began to pace back and forth, struggling to take deep breaths as tears flooded down her cheeks.

  Ellie watched her and quickly picked up that she was having a panic attack.