Look For The Light | Ellie Williams

XIII

she always wondered what went through the girls mind whenever someone mentioned her name.
*•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•*

She ended up crying in the stall for a while.

She just sat on the toilet and waited for the tears to stop.

They did, eventually.

" Auburn?"

Aubutn threw her hand over her mouth to silence her breathing.

" Auburn, love? Are you in here?" Isabella called softly, walking into the bathroom.

Auburn took a deep breath. "I'm here. I'll be out in a minute," she said, trying to keep a steady voice.

"It's lunch. We'll be waiting for you at our normal spot," Isabella said kindly.

"Alright, I'll be there," Auburn said, smiling, so her tone wouldn't sound like she had just bawled her eyes out.

"Alright," Isabella said and then Auburn heard the bathroom door close.

She inhaled deeply and then exhaled. She stood and walked out of the stall and to the sink. She looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes were puffy, red.

She splashed cold water onto her face before drying it with a paper towel. She took a few more deep breaths and smiled the smile.

The smile: The kind you put on to pretend you're okay, so people don't have to pretend to care about how you're feeling because when you do express how you're feeling, you feel narcissistic and self centered about making it about you. You overthink about expressing your feelings and emotions because you feel like the people you opened up to will begin to think you're attention seeking, so you feel that it's easier to plaster on the smile and fake it till you make it.

~~~~

She walked out of the bathroom and to the cafeteria for lunch. She got served with a brisket sandwich, celery and carrot sticks alongside a bottle of water.

She sat at her usual spot with her friends, Selena next to her and Isabella and Quinn in front of them.

"Sorry for coming late," Auburn muttered, placing her tray of food down.

"No worries, doll," Selena cupped her jaw and placed a soft kiss on the start of her scar and the end of her scar. Her right cheekbone and the start of her left brow.

"Where were you anyway?" Quinn questioned curiously, shoving a baby carrot in his mouth.

"And why are your eyes red?" Selena piped in, taking a bite of her sandwich.

I cried in the bathroom for a little bit because I miss my family and I don't want to die during the Assassination, no big deal.

Auburn's mouth gaped open, blinking her eyes.
"I went to the bathroom. I got something in my eyes and I kept rubbing them," she shrugged.

"Oh, well, then stop rubbing them, love. You're going to just irritate it more," Isabella said sweetly, her expression was apologetic.