Prologue
How could you ever stop your feelings for someone else when you thought you found the perfect person for you? Simply, you cannot. It can't be.
That's just how I knew I found the right one for me.
-
CHESTER TOWN COLLEGE, 2011
"Hindi mo ba kakausapin, bro?" Akbay pa ni Tomas nang makita ako. "Sayang naman 'yon, boy!"
Napangisi ako at saka napailing. "How could I ever do that kung may boyfriend 'yong tao? I don't want to be the reason they would break up just because I liked her."
"Listen, bro." Huminto kami sa paglalakad at hinawakan niya ako sa magkabilang balikat at saka hinarap niya ako sa kanya. "You wouldn't be happy in your life kung papairalin mo 'yang ganyang attitude."
Kumusot ang mukha ko sa sinabi niya. It doesn't make sense to me. "I'm not going to ruin someone else's relationship, Tom. Let's go to our next class and move on. I could still meet a lot of girls out there. It wasn't just her."
"But you wouldn't want any other girls," he said, pointing it directly to my face. "I know you wanted her."
Hindi na ako nagbigay ng komento sa kanya at tumuloy na lang kami sa susunod naming klase, but then I couldn't help, but to think if I was with her would I be happy? For sure. Walang duda ro'n. There was a whole scenario going on in my head when I think of her, but I knew it won't happen, not in this lifetime, basically, she would never be mine. . . And that's fine—not really.
We went to our class, but I couldn't get it out of my head. I shouldn't be thinking of someone else's girl. I hate Tomas for bringing that up. What made me feel so uneasy during the whole class was that we took a surprise quiz and I didn't listen to the lecture properly, but I still got a decent score which I'm still proud of.
Paglabas namin ng room ay mabilis na lumapit si Tomas sa akin. I knew he wouldn't stop at questioning me why I wasn't making a move to her. Sino ba gustong mabugbog kung gagawin ko 'yon? I would just distance myself away. It seemed like she was happy with her boyfriend. Whenever I saw her on the grounds clinging to his arms, I thought, Nah, I couldn't be with her. She probably had the man of her dreams with her now so why would I take that away from her? I could be ruining her future if I stepped in and became part of her life.
She didn't know I existed. We passed by along the hallways in the campus, but never looked in each other's eyes or even said a word. At this moment, I just don't want to make big trouble out of everything. I could be just the nice forgettable guy.
Tomas and I went to the cafeteria so we could grab some lunch for ourselves. We lined up to get our food. Hindi pa naman karami ang mga tao, but usually at this hour, students would flock down this hall for the free lunch. But if you're part of a clique or richer group of friends, they would just hang outside picking some fancy restaurant for themselves. I don't have that kind of friend. I only have Tomas, and he's the best.
"May laban ulit 'yong basketball team natin kalaban 'yong St. Dominique University next Saturday, pupunta ka ba?" tanong ni Tomas.
Napakibit balikat naman ako. "I don't know yet."
"Go ka na, bro. Hindi ka naman pumunta no'ng mga nakaraang game, e. Ang angas kaya no'ng last game nila."
"Okay, but I will see."
"Sus!" anito. "Ayaw mo lang talaga pumunta kasi captain ng basketball team natin 'yong boyfriend ng crush mo, e."
Napabitaw naman ako nang malalim na buntonhininga. Nakasilid lang din ang mga kamay ko sa bulsa ng pantalon ko. "Hay, nako, Tomas. Ikaw lang nagsasabi niyan. I don't have any bad blood with anyone. 'Wag mo akong gawan ng issue."
