Reaching for Stardust // Josh Kiszka

Part XVIII

Word Count: ~2700

Warnings: none:)

Omg...can you believe we've reaching the wedding chapters? Hope you enjoy...

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I counted down every minute of every hour of the last 24 hours before we headed up to the lodge, tingling with an abundance of nervousness and fear I'd never felt before–thinking about the wedding before, planning it, getting anxious just sitting in front of my laptop or grocery shopping or whatever, didn't compare to the final hours before it was happening. It wasn't like I was being marched to the electric chair. No, my mind and my heart knew this was all excitement and excitement often felt a lot–or sometimes exactly–like fear.

"Why do I feel like this?" I asked Kirsti while she drove us north along the highway. Josh and Jake were in the Jeep; Danny was driving himself and Sam up together. Bev and Jane were paired off, trailing not far behind my sister and I last I'd checked. Josh's parents were headed up too, as were my own; everyone else would be showing up later, when things actually began, and just the thought of all the guests rolling in for this big day escalated my unease.

"Because it's a lot," my sister replied, her words simple but so spot on that I felt a slight lifting of my anxiety, though not enough to keep me from squirming and fiddling in my seat. "Because it's scary," she added, sparing me a reassuring glance. "There's a lot of pressure. It's gonna be fun though, right?"

"Oh yeah," I quickly agreed, tapping one foot against the car mat below. "It'll be so much fun. I think I'm just really anxious to get to the fun parts–like, I don't wanna rush through the vows and the whole ceremony but that is all the scary stuff." There'd been no formal rehearsal dinner–yeah, we all got together for dinner and drinks and fun, but the "rehearsal" part had been lost on all of us. Perhaps that was contributing to my anxieties. Still, I was glad for it. Who needed more stuffiness?

"Every girl I know who's gotten married says it all flies by," Kirsti told me, lifting one hand from the wheel to imitate an explosion next to her head. "Blink of an eye, boom–it's all over. So, yeah, try to enjoy it."

I sighed, drumming my fingers against my knee. "Yeah. Yeah, I will."

"This might not be the only 'best day of your life,' but I wouldn't be surprised if it'll be one of the very best anyway. You know?"

Nodding, I gazed out the window. "For sure." Settling back in the seat, I said what I'd been thinking just a few moments ago: "Josh told me the other day–reminded me, really–that fear feels a lot like excitement. So our minds get it mixed up sometimes. I am excited. I really, really am."

"Good!" Kirsti chirped, laughing a little. "That's the right attitude."

I watched the roadside pass by for a few seconds before I asked, "Is it really bad luck if Josh and I see each other beforehand?"

"Well, that's the tradition. Or, it's one tradition." Another glance at me and Kirsti added, "But if you guys want to, don't worry about that. We make our own luck."

-

The lodge was as beautiful in person as it was in the pictures, perhaps even more so because of the true winter atmosphere we'd been graced with for the wedding day. The sun was hidden beneath an opaque layer of cool gray and below, mid-morning mist webbed itself across the ground and through the trees, the pines and firs and beech hazy behind it, all the branches covered in a light layer of pristine white snow. It all was such a beautiful, calm natural backdrop to the impressive lodge–even bigger than I expected, it towered on top of the small mountain we'd circled around to reach it, with sharp peaks jutting into the air and huge windows reflecting the sky.