Beginner and the Sinner (Andy Biersack & Noah Sebastian)

Full Throttle

I tried to drink at the bar after debriefing. CC had gone behind the bar to fix my drinks. I could tell by his unusual quietness and mannerisms, he didn't know how to talk to me. I didn't fault him for it, it was a lot to take in. I decided to put him out of his misery after I finished my drink. I really wasn't feeling hanging out at the unusually empty bar.

Walking back to base, it was fairly warm out. The streets were busy with traffic and other bodies walking the sidewalks. It felt normal, like it was any other mid afternoon weekday. To the rest of the world, it was. It was nice. Nice to be amongst others just going about their day to day. I wondered how long it'd be before my days would feel normal again.

Hoping to channel some normalcy, I texted Lotus. Her and I had been weird but no reason I couldn't try to get us back. I knew she wasn't with Jake, I think he would've mentioned her being around when I left the War Room.

I gave Lotus a couple minutes before I tried calling. I really wanted to have some us time. I was halfway to base. If she wasn't there, now would be the ideal time to find out instead of walking all the way there.

"Hey Lex whats up? Where have you been the last few days?" Lotus's cheery voice was like a breath of fresh air.

"Recovering from a gig. Where are you? I thought we could do something." I leaned against a building to get out of the way of foot traffic. The brick felt cool on my back.

"I'm actually getting food with a few other Independent ladies. You're welcome to join us. They'd love to meet you." Her sing songy voice sounded so hopeful. I almost agreed. There was no way I could pull off a girls outing with strangers at the moment.

"I was hoping for just the two of us but it's okay. We'll get together soon. I'll let you get back to your meal." I tried to not sound too disappointed. I didn't want her to ruin her existing date.

"I'll text you when I'm done. We could do something after?"

"No worries Lo. Have fun." I hung up before she could talk herself into abandoning her new friends.

I took Lotus not being available as a sign. I needed some alone time. I hadn't had any conscious alone time since before the gig. Was it the best idea? Not sure but the universe seemed to think so.

As I walked the rest of the way home, I let the universe take control. I basically put myself on autopilot and let my feet take me where they thought I should go. I ended up in the liquor store.

Vodka was the first big bottle I saw. Not caring what brand, I bought it. I didn't have a clue what I was going to mix it with. Nor did I look. Letting autopilot be in charge I was on my way home.

Stopping at the cafeteria, there were very few people around. It was still too early for dinner to be served. Inhaling deeply, I smelt fried chicken. My mouth instantly watered. It felt like it'd been forever that I'd eaten a full meal. I'd be coming back to get dinner. That was certain.

Scoping out my options for mixers in a drink cooler, I settled for raspberry lemonade. Some fruit added to it would be good but I didn't have the ambition for it at the moment. Upon entering the compound I'd started to feel super drained and a nap was feeling necessary. Grabbing my juice, I took in a final smell of the fried chicken and murmured a promise of return as I exited the cafeteria.

*~*~*

The fried chicken was everything I could have hoped for and more. The perfect level of crunch and grease. It paired so nicely with my raspberry lemonade vodka. Then add in the green beans, mashed potatoes with gravy and biscuit. It tasted like heaven.

As amazing as the meal was, the only thing that could have made it better was to be not be eating it alone. I could've stayed and ate in the cafeteria but I didn't see anyone that I knew well enough to do that. So I dined at the little table in my room. Skimming through Netflix between bites and not actually watching what I chose.