Ex's to Lovers

Chapter 8

In which Alfred makes it so no one ever doubts that he is Ivan's Ex

Alfred stared at Ivan with a new kind of awe, bridging closer to horror.

"You want us to do what?"

"Pretend to be ex's." 

Ivan, having finally made peace with idea, had unexpectedly embraced the idea, much to Alfred's horror. Of course, after Ivan had explained how his little sister Natalya had seemed to bizarrely not only believe Alfred's lie, but also seemed to be backing off Ivan to give him some time to greive, Alfred understood where Ivan was coming from when he suggested that they pretend to be ex's. That didn't mean he was okay with it though.

"Are you crazy?"

Alfred demanded, and Ivan smirked at him, reminding Alfred that his rival, was actually crazy. What sane person fills someone's locker with sand?  That sort of prank took a lot of effort and Alfred didn't even know how Ivan managed it without getting caught. He definitely didn't think that bedazling Ivan's binder deserved that sort of response, especially since Ivan seemed actually quite fond of his new sparkling binder with the word "Vodka" bedazzled with black jewels among the many pink sparkles. Alfred could have sworn he even saw Ivan showing it off to his friends... 

Alfred belatedly realized Ivan was staring at him and nodded like he was listening, and Ivan continued listing his reasons for the idea. 

"and Natalya will give me space, and stop pestering me to marry her, which is good for me, and you will have more reason to not talk to me, which is good for us both." 

Alfred frowned. 

"What if someone asks a question about when he were dating, or something?" 

Ivan beamed in a devious way that reminded Alfred of Gilbert (who was still diligently avoiding Alfred). 

"Simple!" Ivan beamed. "You are just too brokenhearted to talk about it, da?" 

Alfred gaped. He opened his mouth to protest why he should have to be broken hearted about Ivan, when he didn't even like Ivan, but Ivan cut off his escape with a well placed threat. 

"You made the mess, you should take responsibility. Unless you want to explain to Natalya this is all a mistake...?"

Alfred quailed at the thought of what Ivan's scary sister would do to him if she ever found out he lied. 

"Fine!" He relentled angrily, "Since you're so desperate I'll help you out." 

Ivan maturely did not call Alfred any of the names he might have liked to, and instead gave Alfred an infuriating look of superiority, which itched at Alfred's ego in an extremely unpleasant way, prompting Alfred's petty addition. 

"And you have to give back my Captain America action figure that you took! I know it was you!" 

Ivan blinked, slowly, then tilted his head to the side innocently. 

"Action figure? I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Alfred?"

That was the last straw. Realizing that he was getting nowhere with Ivan, and feeling rather like he'd lost in pretty much every aspect of this barter, Alfred turned on his heal, stalking away for the betterment of his sanity, throwing one last spiteful glare over his should at Ivan as he stalked away. 

"You're just wasting my time! Don't even talk to me from now on!" 

Alfred didn't realize exactly how loud his voice was at that last demand till he realized everyone in the hallway was looking at him, and Mathew, who really should have been in class, but was instead stubbornly waiting for Alfred at the end of the hall, looked rather like he was considering attacking Ivan after all. 

Alfred cursed outloud.