Ex's to Lovers

Chapter 56

In Which Mathew Tries to help and Alfred Continues Being Dense

If Mathew and Arthur were asked what Alfred's two most annoying traits were, they would both have to think about it for a long time.  After a bit of arguing and a lot of contemplation, they would both agree that they are how dense and Impulsive Alfred tended to be.

Alfred was currently exercising a perfect example of the aforementioned density.

"He is!" Alfred insisted in the face of Matthew's skeptical expression. "He's being all strange and unIvanlike!"

Mathew patiently chose to hear his brother out.

"UnIvanlike?"

Alfred gestured hopelessly, before choosing to confide in his brother. After all, even if Mathew was thick-headed and stubborn, even his brother should know what he and Ivan were like to each other. Alfred took a step towards Mathew, then glanced both ways to be sure no passing students were in earshot before making his whispered confession. 

"Mattie, I think Ivan was worried about me!" 

Mathew responded to Alfred's wide and somewhat panicked look with an expectant look of his own, clearly waiting for the rest of Alfred's sentence, which quickly turned into exasperation when he realized that was it. 

"Are you serious?" 

Mathew stared at Alfred like he was dumb, which Alfred resented. Alfred started to pout, and Mathew, not wanting to deal with a sulking Alfred, quickly continued. 

"Of Course he's worried about you! We all were! You got kidnapped, Alfred! You could have been killed, or worse, and -" 

Mathew choked on his emotion, and Alfred watched Matthew's rare outburst with large eyes, slightly worried if this was a "You're dumb and I hate it" kind of scolding, or if it was a "You're dumb and I can't believe you're not getting this" kind of scolding. Mathew was making a strange expression that Alfred couldn't quite identify the emotions behind, but was earily familiar. He had a hazy recollection of the same expression on Ivan's face when he'd found the feverish Alfred in his room. Alfred decided he didn't like this new expression after all. 

Mathew, who was telling that Alfred wasn't understanding any of it, took a deep steadying breath and began again in a carefully controlled voice one might use while explaining the same thing to a toddler for the fourth time. 

"Alfred, you're pretty dense, so I know you might not get this, so I'll spell it out. When you like someone, you want to stay by their side, you're always thinking about them when they're away, and you don't want them to get hurt. And if they do get hurt, it feels like something is being dug out of your chest and like it's all your fault they got hurt and you think that it's all your fault that it happened, and you should have stopped it. When you love someone it's normal to be worried. You don't even get the danger you were in, do you? "

Alfred was surprisingly taking quite a bit more than Mathew was expecting from Mathew's speech.  Unfortunately, he was applying it in all the wrong places. Currently Alfred thoughts were along the lines of :

"Why does he sound like he's speaking from experience? Did someone he loves get hurt? But Katyusha seemed fine last time I saw her?" 

Which might very well have made Mathew cry with frustration if he knew. Fortunately, Alfred didn't say those outloud. He didn't get the chance, because Mathew nailed him with an unexpected question.

"I mean, how would you feel if Ivan suddenly went missing and might have been kidnapped and showed up days later sick as a dog?"

Alfred choked.