Ex's to Lovers

Chapter 30

In Which Gilbert Decides Its Time For Some Straight (Gay?) Talk

If he asked how long he'd known Ivan, Alfred would probably say "too long". If he was asked how long he'd disliked Ivan He'd probably say "from the start". If he was asked if he thought he and Ivan would ever get along, he'd probably just have snorted. But these days, Alfred was getting the uncomfortable feeling that he and Ivan might be edging closer into the "friend" territory, and he was very certain that he didn't like that.

But still, Ivan had been the only one to help him when his own brother betrayed him, and knowing how Ivan punched him just for touching his underwear, Alfred figured it must have been pretty embarrassing for Ivan to tell Mathew the truth, but he still did it. He'd even generously not made fun of Alfred for crying, although he had used a number of other jibes to annoy Alfred to the point where he stopped crying. Even, so, Alfred didn't want to be something as chummy as "friends" with him. He communicated these thoughts to Gilbert in a troubled tone.

"Hey, Gil...do you think that Ivan and I.." He grimaced, "are close- um, no, less enemy-like these days?"

Gilbert, who had won his good graces back by administering a strong right hook to Francis and Arthur after he'd heard what happened, stopped slurping his soda and stared at Alfred.

"Seriously?"

Alfred brightened at Gilbert's incredulous tone, thinking he'd probably somehow misread the situation. Alfred knew he wasn't too good at reading the room anyways, so he was probably imagining it.

"I know right?" He agreed in relief, "It's not Like I could ever be friends with Ivan or anything!"

Gilbert gave him his best Alfred-you-are-an-idiot face.

"Friends?" Gilbert repeated, offended. "Friends? Dude, you're so close I was beginning to worry you were replacing me! If I didn't know-"

Gilbert cut himself off as though realizing he was about to say something he shouldn't, but Alfred was too worried about what Gilbert did say than what he didn't, which was definitely something he should have been worried about. Instead, Alfred fixed Gilbert with his most dramatic affronted look.

"How could you say that!"

Gilbert, who was best friends with Francis, who was probably the singular most dramatic person on earth, remained unaffected. Gilbert stared hard at Alfred, squinting more than ever, then finally spoke with a slightly wary tone.

"Do you really not know? Cuz if you're faking it-"

Alfred didn't for the life of him understand why Gilbert was talking down to him when Gilbert was the one saying wierd things. Moreover, Alfred was beginning to get the feeling that Gilbert was treating him As stupid, something that, while he didn't like, he was used too from his older brother, but rather resented coming from Gilbert. After all, Alfred knew that Gilbert wasn't much smarter than him. But Gilbert was staring down Alfred with a ferocity he usually only reserved for gym sessions. Alfred scowled defensively.

"What?"

Gilbert blinked his red eyes slowly, then stared down Alfred with a serious expression rarely seen on Gilbert.

"You and Ivan are always Bickering and pranking each other right?"

Alfred nodded, not sure where this was going.

"And you get, like really mad when someone else pranks him. Remember the time you punched that Siberian kid for putting a bird corpse into Ivan's locker?"

Alfred wasn't liking this line of questioning.

"that was bullying, not pranking!" He defended, "And Ivan really hates seeing dead animals!"

Gilbert only gave him a flat look like than somehow proved his point.

"You're always texting him, you go to his house and hang out in his room, and he comforted you after that happened yesterday when you were crying."

Gilbert ticked off examples one by one on his fingers, then leveled Alfred with one final, ridiculous, accusation.

"Don't you guys actually like each other?"