x13 sorry won't bring him back

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"hera"I hear someone say and I tiredly open my eyes and see levi staring at me

"mhm"

"here" he says as he hands me some water and food

I was starving

"CAPTAIN HES AWAKE" I hear a voice yell and he looks at me and sighs before walking towards eren and armin , as I look around I realize we were on top of the wall

then I see a green smoke signal appear and everyone flies up running towards armin and I look down at my hands

fuck

"hey" I hear someone say and athena and floch began walking towards me

"hi guys"I say before athena throws herself at me

"I'm so sorry" she whispers and I nod as tears start forming in my eyes again , I turn around to see everyone telling armin what happened

I want to go back home, I don't wanna be here anymore, looking down makes me remember everything all over again

floch looked at me and I open my arms and he hugs me

"I tried" he says

"I know thank you floch, he didn't want to come back and i understand" I tell him as tears run down my face , as we all sat in silence I see hanji getting up with eren and mikasa and levi ran towards me

"do you want to go?" he asks

"where?"

"the basement"

"no I don't"I tell him

"okay be safe" he says as he gently pats my head before going down with everyone else

"are you going to talk to him?" athena asks as she points towards armin and I nod and began walking towards him

"how you feeling?" I ask and armin turns around

"I'm still registering everything, I still don't get why captain levi chose me over erwin" he says and I nod looking away

"are you okay?" he asks and I look at him confused

"my brother just fucking died so why would I be okay?" I ask

"hera I- I'm I'm sorry" he says as he grabs his head

"sorry won't bring him back armin"

" the information I received was messing with me so bad that I completely forgot that...your brother...your his sister.......im sorry"

"armin stop apologizing" I tell him

"everything will get better" he says and my eye twitches and before I went off athena pulled me back

"he should be more grateful to be alive" floch says

"hera" I hear a voice behind me and turn to see connie and jean and they both threw themselves at me embracing me in a hug in silence, I hug them back and felt my eyes getting watery again

"damn it why do I keep crying" I whisper

"let it out" connie says and in no time I began sobbing as they both held me

"I'm happy that armins alive but my fucking brother is gone...I ca-nt do this shit" I say

"I'm not going to sit here and say it will get better soon because it won't, you lost your brother hera I don't think people are thinking that through enough" connie says pulling back as he wipes the tears off my face

"thank you Connie" I tell him and he nods understanding

"are you still tired?" athena asks and I nod and she grabs me and lays me down, head on her lap

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