A Beauteous Flower

Chapter 41 - The New Way of Thinking

Finally, a few nights later the flu released Madison from its grip. It was near midnight and the house was still. With her fever broken, Madison felt well enough to sit up and take stock of the situation. Gandalf dozed complacently and she was careful not to disturb him. Daniel was not in bed with her, and that disturbed Madison. After those horrid days of uncertainty, she wanted and needed him close. Just as she was about to call for him, she glanced over at the chairs by the fireplace.

Daniel slept in one of the chairs.  His feet extended toward the fire and his head drooped to one side. An open book rested in his lap, and he snored his gentlemanly snore. Something about his posture was attractively different to Madison. Normally Daniel appeared calm and strong, even when he slept, but tonight he slumped, exhausted. He looked vulnerable. It was an image of Daniel that Madison had not seen before and it stirred a predatory lust in her. Days of tension and loneliness caused visceral desire to flare in Madison's chest and she yearned to put her hands on Daniel's naked body, to draw him to her and possess him, inside and out.

As she stood, the night chill touched her bare skin, so she swathed herself against it with the red flannel sheet knotted at her chest. Daniel was here, with her and she wanted him, needed him. She needed to clutch him to her, to feel his skin, to feel his lips, to feel his breath, to feel him deep inside her. Madison drank in the sight of the unconscious Daniel, not six feet from her. All she needed was one passionate night with Daniel and she could leave this sordid mess of the party and Steve the Oaf behind and, hopefully, get pregnant with the first of their four perfect children to fit into her perfect life. Daniel couldn't possibly stay angry with her if she became the mother of his first child. Madison wet her lips in anticipation.

The fire crackled and sensual shadows writhed and danced on the floor. Madison crept towards him like a famished wraith evidenced only by the whisper swish of the sheet on the floor behind her. A few quiet steps later, Madison hovered near Daniel's sleeping form with a soft slickness between her thighs.  Daniel murmured in his sleep, as if he sensed the approach of some vague danger. With a tired moan, his head rolled away from Madison and exposed his neck. Madison's desires flared, and she leaned towards him to place a gentle kiss on his neck just below his ear. All she needed was just one simple touch to ignite a magic night of love and this would all be over.  She and Daniel would simply make love until it all went away deep into the past and she would never again have to bend a thought on the party or Steve the Oaf again and her perfect life could get back on track.  Madison's lips pillowed into a sensual pucker as she leaned closer to Daniel's exposed neck.

But before her lips contacted Daniel's skin, a strange sensation of a thought halted Madison just six inches from her target. Something was amiss here.  Something about what she was about to do felt wrong.  For weeks the thought she had lost Daniel tortured her and against all odds he was still here. Her body longed for his touch and warmth, yet, while she hesitated, a new and wholly incongruent question sprang to life in Madison's mind.

Was this right?

What did Daniel want?  Her failure to consider Daniel's thoughts and feelings had put them in this position and that had been a major mistake on her part. Was she about to make the same mistake again? Hadn't selfishness done the damage to their relationship after all?  Was this desire for a sexual solution to the situation about him, or about her? 

Madison knew that one night of passion with Daniel would make her feel better.  Much better, actually, in a lot of ways.  The touch of his hands, the warmth of his skin, and the taste of his kiss would be restorative, especially now that she had been deprived of it, almost forever. It would also be her penance, as if she had given her body to show Daniel that she wanted to be with him and not Steve the Oaf and to apologize for the damage she had done.  It would be exactly in line with what her girlfriends recommended, and it fit with her past experience with men.