Dare You To Love Me

«26» a dark cloud

“Where is your husband, Yaseerah?”

Like a deer caught in a headlight, Yaseerah’s eyes were wide, her lips slightly parted as she stared at her mother.

She weighed her options, unsure whether to lie and come up with an excuse to explain his absence, or to tell the simple truth which was; she had no idea.

Rolling her bottom lip against her teeth, Yaseerah avoided Mamu’s gaze as she responded, “Sleeping, I hope.”

Mamu’s forehead creased into a frown as she stared at her daughter, taking note of her avoidance tactic. “He doesn’t know that you’re here, does he?”

Yaseerah sucked in a breath, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “No.”

“Yaseerah,” Mamu began, but before she could say anything else, the door swung open, and two doctors wearing surgical masks and scrubs entered, along with a nurse who wheeled in a cart loaded with medical supplies.

Dr. Seda–the oncologist–led the way, Dr. Rahman–the neurosurgeon–behind her, carrying a clipboard he was still going through.

“Good morning, Maryam,” Dr. Seda greeted with a warm smile. “How are you doing today?”

“Good morning,” Mamu responded with a weak smile, as she shifted her gaze from Yaseerah to the doctors. “I feel good today, alhamdulillah.”

Dr. Seda nodded, then gestured to her colleague. “We are here to perform some preoperative procedures to ensure everything goes smoothly during the surgery tonight.”

“There is nothing to worry about,” Dr. Rahman added, when he saw Yaseerah’s face crease with a frown. “They are just standard procedures.”

Despite the reassurance, Yaseerah could feel a knot tighten in her stomach, as her gaze shifted between the doctors and her mother. 

Bilal was silent as he too observed the nurse begin to check and record Mamu’s vital signs into her clipboard, his gaze shifting between the nurse and his ailing mother.

His gaze shifted to Yaseerah, who despite looking put together, appeared worse for wear, as she fidgeted nervously in her seat.

The sight of her fidgeting while being surrounded by strangers had a smile ghosting over his lips, as he thought about how she was slowly unraveling these days.

He had always relied on her for strength, her unwavering resolve shouldering in times of trouble. Yet, in this moment, he felt like she too needed someone to hold on to, and it hurt because he knew that he could not offer her the stability she desperately needed.

Dr. Seda’s voice pierced through his introspection, assuring them that everything looked good with Mamu’s vitals.

While her words provided him momentary relief, Bilal couldn’t shake the haunting realization that this time around, he had to be the source of strength for all of them.

Silence reigned in the room after the doctors and nurse had left, only broken by the sound of monitors beeping.

“I’m going to go and get more information from the oncologist so I can ensure that everything has been taken care of,” Yaseerah stated after a beat.

Bilal didn’t acknowledge her, his gaze still fixed on Mamu, as he appeared deep in his thoughts.

Not bothering to repeat herself, Yaseerah stepped out of the room, and began to check for Dr. Seda’s office.

When she located it, she was relieved to find the oncologist examining Mamu’s medical records.

“How can I help you, Yaseerah?” Dr. Seda queried, as she looked up from the papers, her gaze meeting Yaseerah’s with a calm expression. “I can call you that, right?”