No, I'm Just Delusional (Phan) RE-WRITE IN PROCESS

Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall, Who the Hell Is That?

Phil -

Dark.

Lost.

Alone.

These thoughts seem to drift into my mind. Circling me. I don't know why they seem so relevant. I feel them enclosing in on me like sharks. Three single words hitting so close to home and I have no idea why. These hungry ravenous yet calm and slow sharks seem to pluck me from my dreams. I believe I am still some sort of unconscious. I feel the sharks getting closer and closer and I don't have anywhere to hide. I am drowning.

The water is entering my lungs. The dark water bed beckoning me closer. Compelling me into silence. I try to swim, but I don't know how. I am sinking. My eyes still wide and alert. The pain in my chest becoming evermore noticeable. I open my mouth only to be greeted my the cold darkness chocking me. I can feel my throat burn, hungry for air. My head spaces out and an image flashes through my mind. A boy. About my age, with a somehow beautiful mix of chestnut hair and chocolate hair. The thoughts slip past my radar I don't even recognise what I have thought until a couple of seconds later. I shake it off.

The water is attacking me. It is trying to break me, but I won't let it. It's consuming me, swallowing me. Only now can I see the demons that have possessed me for so long. They are urging me to let go, but I won't. That boy keeps flashing through my mind and I see the crocked smile and big dimples, I see the dark in his caramel eyes and the pain behind them. I see a forest and a hard ground. A pain in my bones and and burning of flesh.

I see the ground and a sharp pain in my nose. I see a red car and a black jacket. I feel my back stinging and I hear wood connect with flesh. I see a car roof. I smell rain. I feel lips on my own. I see another boy with wavy brown hair and bright green eyes. I see him run off into the bushes. I see a swing and I feel the earth meet my face. I feel a blow to my face and tears on my cheeks. I see a figure above. I see a bedroom, clean and large. Filled with trophies and awards. I am looking up. The boy with chestnut eyes is there. He is holding me. A bed. A kiss. A knife. An abyss.

My eyes are slowly closing, the lack of oxygen slowing my brain and ouching me into unconsciousness. I am struggling to fight back. The weight of the water and the urging of the demons is getting to much. It seems my demons know how to swim.

I am letting go.

Suddenly, out of no where a body swims towards me. They grab me by the collar of my shirt. It is then that I notice the tight rope twisted around my body. So, that's why I couldn't swim. The dark is becoming to much and I open my mouth once again, drinking in the black abyss. Only to find that I am met with cold, harsh wind. I am slumped up against a bench and my saviour dashes away before I can give thanks.

My eyes close, not before catching a glimpse of the chestnut eyed boy looking at me with both shock and... thanks?

The water seems to have disappeared. I am now standing in a black... space? There are no walls, no roof, no nothing. I am falling. The only way I can tell is by the feeling in my stomach. Like when you're in an elevator when it drops. I see a ledge and try to grab on and manage to pull myself up. It is a window. Through it I can see a hospital. The boy with chestnut eyes is shaking and his cheeks are covered in tears. There is a boy in the bed near him. He is ghostly pale and hooked up to several machines. He looks familiar.

The boy with chestnut eyes walks up to the bed. For a brief moment I catch a reflection in the mirror. It is the same boy lying in the bed. He has bright blue eyes and deep black hair with a few ginger roots. I open my mouth to say something when the reflection does to. I quickly shut it and the reflection copies exactly what I do. It is then that I realise that it is me. I am the boy lying in the hospital bed.

Suddenly I realise that the boy with chestnut eyes is crying because if me. He walks up to me, the me laying on then bed and whispers into my ear, "I love you Phil, so, so much. That's why I'm doing this. I can't live without you. I never could. Meet you on the other side." He is shaking more than ever right now. I cant let him do this. I don't even really know who he is. I don;t have time to process what her just said other than “Meet you on the other side.” Is he going to kill himself?

Without thinking I burst through the window and find myself opening my eyes. The boy with chestnut eyes has his eyes on the floor. He turns and in that moment I know.

I know who he is, he's the boy I fell in love with.