It starts with joy
The feeling I get when I hold you close to me
It's uncontrollable happiness to see you smile
We play and giggle and everything feels blissful
Then comes the bittersweet feeling
When I'm so overcome with sorrow because I realize you're not mine
You start to cry and reach for your mother
Your mother, who is not me
I bite back the cry as the tears well in my eyes
The milestones and growth you've shown
The pride I feel when I look at you
It makes me so happy then I start thinking again
The sadness comes back
I want to cry and scream because the world isn't fair
And because you are not mine
