Providence of the Universe

-20

✨️🎀✨️

Taehyung is nervous. He's so nervous that he doesn't want to let go of the steering wheel in fear of Jimin noticing his trembling hands. He's not so sure of why. He and Jimin's relationship has evolved a lot since this whole thing started. The lines have blurred several times, probably more than they should have.

And it's actually that what makes him hope that maybe something else could happen between them. He's kissed Jimin, he's had him in his bed. He's given himself to him in more ways than he ever has to anyone else. Taehyung knows that he doesn't want this to just be an agreement that works for both of them. He wants to have Jimin always, he wants to know that there isn't a chance Jimin will leave him when he stops needing the money.

And sure, Taehyung knows too that Jimin doesn't want him only for his money, he knows that he's a nice person and that he actually cares. But there's still that small voice in the back of his head telling him that it could all be just a lie and the mere thought of it is enough to make him sad.

So, he wants to talk to him. He's scared it'll end things even though he doesn't want them to end anytime soon, but he knows he has to do it anyway because it's not fair to Jimin that Taehyung is hiding his feelings, something they never agreed upon.

"What are we doing today?" Jimin asks, tilting his head to the side as he watches Taehyung.

The older one does his best to continue driving without faltering. Jimin's attention on him always manages to make him feel so nervous.

"I just thought that we could go home and spend time together. Whatever you want to do," he whispers, turning left on his street.

As he makes it to the parking garage and turns his car engine off, he swallows down the lump in his throat and takes a deep breath. He knows Jimin has noticed something is going on, he's been awfully quiet, sneaking glances towards Taehyung every now and then.

Taehyung clears his throat and finally lets his hands fall on his lap, fingers intertwined to prevent his nervousness to show. Yet as he starts talking, it all comes back again.

"Jimin," Taehyung whispers, that nervousness taking over his chest. He's not sure how he wants to start this conversation, he's not even sure of what he wants to say, how to say it. Instead, he decides to go for: "There's something I want to talk to you about."

Jimin's expression doesn't falter. He shifts in his spot, turning his body completely towards Taehyung's. "I want to talk, too."

It's like Taehyung's heart drops out of his chest. For a second, all the endless possibilities take over his mind, his chest constricts in worry and suddenly nothing seems right, he doesn't feel like it'll turn out good and he doesn't want to hear what Jimin is going to say. Because there's so much weight to those words he'd said. Words that hold a potential to hurt Taehyung more than anything else in this world.

Yet he swallows down the lump that has formed in his throat and nods. "What did you want to talk about?" He asks softly.

"You can start, though," Jimin assures.

"No, that's fine," Taehyung quickly replies. "I don't mind you starting."

The truth is, he doesn't want to say anything without knowing whatever Jimin wants to say. Because there's a possibility Jimin is about to tell him that he doesn't want this anymore and Taehyung is sure that it's better that he never knows about his feelings if that's what he wants.

"Well," Jimin finally starts. "I've been thinking about it lately and I just..." he trails off, fumbling with his fingers. When his eyes meet Taehyung's again, he seems nervous and even worried. He sighs. "I just don't want to keep doing this," he murmurs gently, as if he's scared of hurting Taehyung.